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Lemmy Movie Review MIFF festival

Words can’t describe how long I’ve been waiting to see this movie. I swear the lemmymovie.com preview has been up for at least a year. Then the promoter decides he wants to flog it on the festival circuit before a mainstream release. Thankfully it is included in the Melbourne International Film Festival (MIFF) and I saw the July 23rd screening.

The movie really delivers with legendary stories, cliches, rockers and hangers on in the scene. It’s more a bar room yarn than a doco of say Nick Broomfield standard (who produced Kurt and Courtney and Biggie and Tupac). Nor does it geniunely consolidate Lemmy as a hero in the way the Ramones doco or Julian Temple’s movies have (Filth and the Fury and the Joe Strummer one).  All this could be forgiven though. It’s a celebration of Lemmy as a top bloke and a great musician. Nothing more, nothing less. On that premise, it’s OK and I’d see it again any time.

What cannot be forgiven though is the quality of the print that they screened in Melbourne. The aspect ratio was all wrong, so all the titles on screen got cut off! The quality of the video was like Youtube on the big screen. For $17.50 cinema prices, you expect a full quality print. Not something that looks like a dodgy download. It was a packed out screening and I don’t think we were the only ones disappointed at the quality. It felt like a really, really bad way of paying back fans for their patience when this movie could’ve gone straight to DVD a year ago.  Thanks for nothing MIFF!

Lemmy will screen again on August the 4th 2010. More details on the Lemmy Movie at MIFF.

Reflections on Japan

It’s said absence makes the heart grow fonder. I can vouch that this is absolutely true of Japan. After visiting in 1991 I have vowed to go back. Despite a high Aussie dollar making Europe being relatively accessible I finally succumbed to the addiction in May of 2010. Some itches have to be scratched.

It’s not difficult to be a Japanophile. Far beyond the desert bling of the middle east Japan manifests everything that’s good in this world, whilst hiding its brutality in plain sight. Perhaps Japan was the first Asian country to binge on Western opulence; to celebrate en primeur French champagne vintages, gorge itself on grain fed beef and the latest flaunt Louis Vuitton handbags. They still do this in abundance, but in a world of Cantopop and Asian subtleties Japan has no problem expressing each and every pop cultural phenomenon known to man. All with a dedication that is inspirational rather than insipid.   It seems the Chinese copy their style in a muted, toned down inoffensive way, but are yet to add anything to the palette. That’s what makes Japan so amazing.

Walking through the streets of Ginza in Tokyo, on the surface little has changed. Cadillac Escalades drive past Italian wine bars all the time while bums sell papers on the street. At night those same bums are there sleeping in makeshift tents, having barely moved an inch. Unlike Japan of nearly 20 years ago, even Ginza shows signs of hard times. Once famous for $20 coffees, the lofty mock Fifth Avenue Ginza now has senior citizens working the local McDonalds and espresso served at highly reasonable prices. A highly obvious sign that while Ginza carries on, Japan’s economy has peaked. The Chinese might not rock as hard as their Japanese contemporaries and they don’t care. They’re too busy cashing in.

Maybe all this reality has caused Japan to sober up and take a good look at itself. Japan 1991 had beer (and we all know what else) vending machines on every corner. Cocky black suited salary men laughed and jeered their way to Friday chain smoking their way through the day. The streets were a pastiche of urban grey and telephone hooker ads while perverts blatantly read porn on the train. It was taboo for women to walk into pachinko parlors while Sylvester Stallone plugged cup noodles for tens of millions of dollars. I am here to confirm that this Japan no longer exists.

Smokers are now tucked into a yellow rectangle on the street in a scene that resembles more Singapore than Shinjuku. Smoking in public is otherwise restricted. On the subway, there are women only train carriages serving as a salvation from ’sukebe’ salary men. While not on the subways, the women now hit the pachinko parlors. But that’s not really the point. There are probably more sleazy dives than ever in Tokyo. They’re only in plain site if you go to the sleazier sides of town where foreigners aren’t always welcome and seldom venture. But the sleaze used to be so rife it would stick to your shoes.

With peripheral vision, more detail becomes clear. Japan is not staffed by Japanese any more. Toyota town Nagoya is home to 60,000 Brazilian workers manning the lines at Toyota plants. Indian workers off shore their IT. Filipino nurses, maids and strippers speak Japanese better than their native Tagalog.  For all intents, it’s harder than ever to be a working class Japanese than ever when ‘made in Japan’ doesn’t mean ‘made by Japanese’. It seems to have affected the Japanese psyche. Or at least their travel schedule as the few remaining ‘job for life’ salarymen flock on the next flight to China to check on their factories.

All is not lost though. Trendy Harajuku caters to freaks well. It has a massive open park which serves up carte blanche freaks indulging in Jamaican dance hall reggae, 50s  rock and roll dancers and hip hop dance crews. Harajuku will cater to anyones’ peccadillo anytime. They even have a kebab van. All this and all the ostentatious fashion you can point a stick at. A great chunk of Japan’s Gross Domestic Product is no longer technology but is cutesy Japanese schmaltz. Hello Kitty is now to Japan what supercomputers and semiconductors used to be. Forget feudal dynasties, we have entered the ‘kireii’ era of Japan.

Even if they’ve lost their chintz, the trains still run like clockwork every three minutes. They look dated but are still immaculate. Each runs to endless shopping malls of hyaku-en (dollar shops) stores and super glitzy shopping malls. Scattered amongst them are restaurants that serve fantastic quality food. On any given Friday you can eat kaisen sets (a Japanese meal of several courses elegantly presented in a box with several draws, originally intended for regal types) for a pittance. Good time restaurants serve a crazy mix of deep fried treats and beer by the pitcher that has that healthy mix of up market workers’ bar and Japanese quirkiness. Seems the elixir for a Japan that works far harder for less than ever.

Perhaps it was unrealistic to expect the same experience from Japan 20 years later. Technologically it has peaked. They no longer seem to ridiculously pander to gaijin. The Tokyo horizon may not change each year with burgeoning construction like Shanghai. The Yuen may be mitier than ever but for all the grim realities, Japan is still a fabulous fusion of the finest of Asian and Western cultures. With Swiss precision they find a niche and place for everything, yet still remain quintessentially their own ubiquitous identity. And while Japan will never be cheap – just cheaper – it’s still as much fun as ever. God bless the people of the sun. The Chinese can only imitate you.

Microsoft. Will they ever learn?

So I’ve been using Microsoft Hotmail for a while because I’m a little bit paranoid about Gmail. If only because Google have your mail, web analytics tracking, calendar, browser, applications, potentially everything they would ever want to know about a human being. Which brings me to my point.

Frankly you could never expect much of Hotmail. It’s a lo-fi “me too!” approach to online services. They bought it from an Indian guy years ago who was experimenting (Hotmail being kind of an acronym of HTML – HoTMaiL) and kinda grafted a Microsoft head on it in some Frankensteinesque way. Then of course they leave it out to pasture for years until Google kicks their arse into online oblivion. Harsh, but pretty much true.

Yes the functionality has improved over time, but it’s still not cutting edge. And for such a lo-fi experience, you wouldn’t expect ads from the bleeding edge would you? And rightly so because Microsoft are now advertising the new Hotmail to existing users!

In what must be the most poorly executed online campaign since I was organising online campaigns, there’s a ‘the new Hotmail is here’ banner appearing in Hotmail. Better still, when you click it, you are taken to some ridiculous page of a guy in a hoodie asking you to sign up for the service. But I’m already a customer. Then the schpeel about how great it is makes it look like it’s not actually live yet. Golly I’m confused.

Well with campaigns this poorly executed, hopefully big brother at Microsoft can be trusted not to be able to do anything too intelligent spying on my web mail.

Oh and it gets better! Scroll to the bottom of the ridicilous hoodie page, and they have the  ‘more from Ninemsn’ section. One tab says ‘time for a new car?’ they have used a picture of a TRD Hilux – a vehicle which was discontinued due to lack of well, interest. From anyone. Yay Microsoft. Well done for having your eye on the ball yet again.

Australian Kingswood Factory Pretty As Sin Launch

Today I blog to you sore, hung over and all Rockabillied out. It seems someone forgot to tell the Australian Kingswood Factory that loud, local Rock and Roll is dead. I tell you this much, not on their watch.

Last night Melbourne’s Arthouse Hotel was nicely packed out with quiff hair styles and hot rod heels on stunning looking rocker girls resembling the ultimate 1950’s librarian fantasy. If this gig is anything to go by, the Rockabilly scene in Melbourne is burgeoning and god bless it. The mosh was full of familiar friendly faces. And for what may look like an all out fist fight in the most is just good fun fist banter.

Despite the mohawks and barrel chested tall boys that would scare you shitless in a dark alley, toes are stepped on people shoved and even beer spilt. But everyone is friendly and nothing turns ugly. A good night is had by all because thankfully this is a cool scene made up of very cool people. There’s something really funny about a six foot something greaser standing at the edge of a mosh, barely moving as he’s pushed and shoved. All the time balancing his stubby, with his back to the band as if nothing’s happening.

Sure enough as lactic acid seeps its way into every sore muscle of my post mosh body, the Kingswoods did rock. Lyndsey had some wireless guitar cord conception that was awfully modern for the 1950s. But nonetheless it allowed him to romp through the crowd and even jump on my mate Ben’s shoulders for an impromptu off stage piggy back – whilst playing! These guys play good, sweaty raw rock and roll and get a good fan fare doing so.

It seems at least half the mosh know these guys personally. But its the rough as guts Aussie Tinged rock that got them out on a Friday night, not simply helping a mate. Well adept at audience participation, half way through the set, a punter brings three Sambuca shots to the stage in what seems a familiar ritual to the band. It wasn’t the only time the band to and froed with the audience.  This is a band well worth checking out. If nothing else for the colourful tunes and the aesthetic.

You can find out more about the guys here on Facebook.

Epiphone Dot guitar review

A fine array of Epiphone Dots

A fine array of Epiphone Dots. Mine is the colour on top.

This post is prompted by the several guitar store visits where there are many of these models getting around. My model is a Korean made version about 6 years old. I bought mine new and have been very, very happy with it despite its natural yellow, urine like finish. It cost me about $1200 Australian Dollars, which is significantly more than what newer models are going for now. Especially the Dot Studio that goes for around $600.

Now we get to the short and skinny. These sub $1000 versions seem to be made in either China or Indonesia or somewhere. They definitely look the business, but they don’t sound it. I tried a Chinese one out the other day and it totally lacked character. So my advice to you if you want a cheap, quality and versatile guitar look out for the Korean Epiphones from the early noughties. Like the early Ibanez guitars of the seventies, they really rock for comparitively little cash to a real Gibson.

For those not in the know, the Epiphone Dot is a cheaper version of the Gibson ES335 – the Chuck Berry guitar. Its sister guitar is the Epiphone Casino which John Lennon played (They look the same but the construction is more like an acoustic guitar). It’s a semi acoustic with big beautiful F-holes and it’s a big heavy lug that makes a Les Paul look compact. Despite its size, it rewards you with a big, sweet sound and awesome tonal versatility. You can go light and funky or super heavy as you wish, all on the one guitar.

Is Shane Smith Lemmy’s love child?

RM_Headshot_medium

Shane Smith.

Lately I’ve been addicted to the Vice Broadcasting Service (vbs.tv). Not only have they been responsible for epic movies like Heavy Metal in Baghdad, but they relentlessly travel the world showing you places you’d never thought you’d see in your life. I’m talking Liberia, the sewer kids of Colombia, heavy metal mobs on Aboriginal reservations; they literally know now bounds! It’s beyond gonzo journalism or ever war correspondence. They take you to places where war technically hasn’t stopped for 50 years like North Korea. Brining very nicely to the point of this blog: Shane Smith.

Somehow after years of working for a faceless corporate behemoth, I’ve found North Korea both bizarre and strangely intruiging. Perhaps all those bland grey office partitions have got me in the communist mind set. Whatever the reason, I found a Youtube video of Shane Smith going through North Korea as a clandestine filmmaker. I’m assuming that when he went through customs, he did not have to declare the watermelon sized balls he has on one of those arrivals forms.  It seems at no stage of this journey was there no sense of danger. Posing as tourists, at each corner their minders are warning them of the dangers of their actions.

The legend.

So after seeing the North Korea video a few times (it’s just that out there) and Smith’s trip to Liberia it got me thinking. OK so the guy has watermellon sized balls and pretty cool. Then he’s got these features of someone we know and love. So there’s no tell tale warts on the face , but the shortish beard and sideburns and long, greasy looking rock and roll hair. Is Shane the bastard child of Lemmy Kilmister? Quite possibly. After all if Vice is a rock and roll 60 minutes, it’s got to be a little close to the Motorhead ethos?! See for yourself with the photos below. For those of you not familiar with Kilmister’s work

There are a few things that are wrong with this picture though. Note the scarf Shane’s wearrning which is totally un-metal. Oh and in his profile, he admits to signing the Bloc Party to his label. Even if he is Lemmy’s bastard son, he would still be hung at dawn for that in my book. At the very least, daddy Kilmister should give his kid a hiding for it! Anyway check out Motorhead and Vice TV for youself. Make your own mind up.

In the loop movie review

For those who think political satire is dead, check this out. This movie is Yes Minister for a new generation. One can’t also help but think that they’ve seen the Australian ABC TV show ‘The Hollowmen’ as well. They are a hair’s breath away from each other. At the end of the day though, that really is inconsequential, because this is an amazing movie in its own right. In the Loop brings political satire into the modern age of Conservative US/British politics via the Gulf War (the current one) and how ministers and mingling US back benchers all are so fervently trying to tone down talk of war, they almost start one.

I’d tell you more about the plot, but it’s not really that important to why I enjoyed it. Maybe it hits a raw nerve for me. This movie portrays generation Ys as ambivalent morons with no conscience, in a society where OHS rules don’t guarantee fair treatment or fair play; the Scots are the underlords keeping politics in check with a filthy tongue and an iron fist and the Americans are cringe-worthy in their conservative self righteous bland-ness. Whereas the English, as always, are bumbling and polite as always. In other words, it was written for pommy in-greats like me! All second-guessing their way through what would be a political thriller if any one of the main characters had a clue what’s going on!

If nothing else, you get a cameo from Steve Coogan (of Alan Partridge Presents and Saxondale fame) as an Irate constituent. For Sopranos fans, there’s also James Gandolfini playing an American army general, who’s become a git gun shy with age. Truth be known, there’s no dead wood in this movie. It would almost even work as a stage production. The two senior UK media advisers (both Scots) are like UK Ari Golds with their demeaning and chauvinistic one liners.

A character that really grabbed me was Toby Wright (played by Chris Addison). This guy is central to my earlier Gen Y comment and is a media adviser to a new British government minister. Yet a weak gust of wind would change his opinion on any subject you cared to mention – oh and his commitment. He really nailed what’s wrong with politics in general when a guy like this can even get a Guernsey in politics, let alone a job packing boxes.

For those of you who are politically savvy and like a bit of dark British satire, check it out. You won’t be disappointed. I sincerely hope though in January that this isn’t the best movie I see all year.

Rockers and Rollers Brian Johnson

Yes I’m a huge Bon Scott fan. No I’m not a big Brian Johnson fan. After reading this book though, there’s probably no one else in the world I’d rather have a beer with. In much the same vein as the Top Gear guys put out books of their newspaper columns, this book is short and punchy. It’s a bit ‘This is your Life” Detroit style. Where instead of popping open a big red, leather clad book, a bottle of Jack Daniels is cracked and the bonnet is raised on some precious metal rather than long lost love appearing centre stage out of nowhere.

Quite literally Johnson have time-lined his life in cars. There’s plenty of highs and lows. From lights randomly popping out of his Lotus to the abject misery of owning anything made by British Leyland. There’s the odd insight into life on the road. Whether it’s bunking on the tour bus or being chauffeured around Europe in an executive limo in style. His band mates don’t make it out unscathed either and there’s plenty of falling in love on the road. Only with British convertibles and not slutty groupies.

It’s full of short, funny (some very funny) and punchy anecdotes. Via cars, he manages to leave no part of his life unscathed and that’s what’s truly miraculous and perhaps why Johnson decided to go this route for his biography – and it does work. There’s a sense that as a standard biography it would be too tight lipped and laconic. No question he has no problem opening up over some put banter about his cars though. But sadly it kind of lacks substance. Honestly I read this book cover to cover in three days. A decent reader could easily do it in a night. Not to Johnson’s detriment. This is a fantastic read. If only it could be longer.

Sean Carver T-Shirts

The other week I was trundling through the tourist thoroughfare of The Rocks in Sydney. Basically looking at a bunch of tourist crap wondering why I was there in the first place. Then something grabbed me:

Dream Car
71 LT Celica – 13B Turbo
42mm waste gate  – shod with 305/28/18 (?)
plenty o poke – jaw dropper – ball tearer
goes like stink – chick magnet
no tyre kickers

This shit is a GTR XU1 Torry and looks bloody awesome.

This shit is a GTR XU1 Torry and looks bloody awesome.

But it wasn’t in a newspaper ad in the Trading Post or a bulletin board. It was on a T shirt. Yes a proper, well fitted, stylishly put together t shirt. And it wasn’t on some iron on transfer or crappy shirt the quality of toilet paper either. Proper artist designed, screen printed cool Aussie car t-shirts! Finally!

The bloke behind the stall, behind the shirt is a Sean Carver. Not someone I know from Adam to be honest. But as Merrick and Rosso would say “what a top little Aussie!” Sean has designed a whole bunch of t-shirts around the kind of cars that are Aussie folk lore. From the HQ coupe driven by the Night Rider in Max Max, to the Kombi van, to our very own Sandman vanel pan! All are done in the classified newspaper ad style with a liberal dose of Aussie slang from the ‘very toey’ to ‘the duck’s guts’.

Thankfully, Sean’s caught onto the interweb at seancarver.com.au. He must know how much I usually loathe going to Shitney!  Anyway, I honestly was blown away by the design, coolness and originality of his shirts and wish I could’ve have got a load more.  So if you have a man in your life that still rushes home to read the Trading Post every Thursday to look for dream cars, this could be their bogan haute coture! God knows it’s now mine. Nice one Seano.

Suzuki Swift review

Renting a car is a lucky dip. Then again I was never a fan of lucky dips. So when promised with a Hyundai Getz “or similar” on a recent trip, my expectations weren’t high. Lo and behold, when the car arrived at the rental desk, it was a Suzuki Swift! Things were starting to look up.

Despite never driving a Getz, it doesn’t reek of likability in the same way the Suzuki does. With the GTI of old fondly in peoples’ memories, it’s not hard. But how does the modern Swift stack up? First of all on streets of Sydney, this car is an absolute god send. Being on holiday, who wants to park a barge? This car easily fits between 4WDs and much bigger pieces of metal.

On the road, the Swift definitely has aspirations that in this basic rental car spec didn’t quite stack up. On its fifteen inch rims, it’s a very, very firm ride for a small car. While I don’t mind a firm suspension, it must knock the false teeth out of old ladies’ mouths, who I assume this thing’s targeted at. Also the base spec engine seems more suited to the highway than tight corners around town. While it doesn’t mind sitting on 110kph, it’s certainly not rev happy. In fact I think someone hypnotized mine and told it is a six cylinder taxi running on gas. By comparison the Seat Ibiza I had in Croatia had a smaller engine, but far more revs and aural charisma. To my mind that makes for a much more enjoyable and better small car.

For such a small car with so much spirit (well potential), it just whezzed its way through the gears, providing something that wasn’t quite torque or power. Just enough to get you around. Oh and did I mention the 3 speed auto? Come on Suzuki, you can do better than that! Build quality wise, the little Swift is easily on par with anything from Toyota – if not better.It feels incredibly solid and all interior fit is pretty decent.

All in all I’d love to drive a sportier model. It is a fun car to drive, at least in its grip and handling. It’s poised and champing at the bit to go. But with that boring engine and transmission, it’s not quite the thrill ride. More the jarring ride!