The world adores matt hayward

Seems every time you hear Z3 mentioned it’s usually catastrophe and far from climax. I say bollocks to that. Call me a hairdresser, or even easily amused. But to me, a weekend in the Z3 was a weekend with a muse.

Apart from the fact they label, traction control ‘DSC’ (all you Kraut lovers, please explain. I am still trying to work that sucker out) and that you can’t get the convertible roof down on a barmy 30 degree Melbourne day (when they do come around) without your foot on the brake and the transmission in neutral, it’s my kinda ride.

Admittedly when these things were released in the mid-nineties and everyone suddenly had a kraut fetish, I loathed them. But it wasn’t until one fateful weekend when I had forsaken the rental AU Falcon for the pricey Hertz ‘K class’ rental number the Z3.

The choice between the Mustang, Volvo V70 and a Z3 wasn’t hard. God bless Hertz. They give the man the chance for something grand for a weekend and return it with a big smile on their faces, and believe me, I am one of those geezers. And god bless them.

Now before we get to the car itself, I have a beef with motoring journalists. They obviously park their arse on too much classy leather and pimp rides to know the difference between different grades of caviar and Champagne. As much as I enjoy their readings, I’d be buggered if I’d say what I drove was ‘bollocks’ and not the dog’s bollocks. They must be too spoilt for choice.

What did the journos say about the Z3? Firstly based on the ancient 80’s E36 platform or something like that. Anyway the old eighties 3 series chassis. Poor chassis dynamics, you know. . . that whole chestnut. Well maybe my ‘Wheels car of the year’ N14 Pulsar SSS didn’t quite handle as well as the Z3 and that’s my only rational base for comparison. And if that’s the worst BMW have to offer, I’m still impressed. Very impressed.

Chasing a MY99 WRX down the Mountain Highway in Melbourne’s Mount Dandenongs was a riot. And that little hairdresser unit had no trouble keeping up whatsoever. Poor chassis and handling? Not in my book.

What is phenomenal about the car is the brakes. Get all the way down the mountain and not a hint of brake fade, no brake dust on the rims and enough brake pad left to get home. And geez, I’m not that easily impressed. This ride is goooood.

How does it ride. Frankly I like sitting that low in a small car to the ground, and will trade it for any family car based sports car whre you’re perked right up in the seat any day.

Whilst I couldn’t really tell you if it oversteered or understeered (it was a rental and my humble budget can’t afford to replace a Beamer), it did everything the way you’d expect it to and at no point did it lack anticipation or disappoint. But then again I guess I couldn’t find the traction control switch. The Germans have a lot to learn about usability. But even with the switch on (and trying to spin the tyres all bloody day to no avail mind you) it was a nice ride through the twisties.

Now to the heart of the matter. I had the 2.2 litre. Sounds gutless, but still enough to have some dang good fun in the hills. Inside, it fits like a glove. Slung low down to the road, I’d absolutely love to try the M series version. Surely not comparable to a M3, but nowhere near a bad enough apple to spoil the whole damn bunch.

If you had the money I could see how you could get bored with a Z3. The same way you’d get bored with fish and chips and go for sushi. But there’s more than enough fish and chip shops in St Kilda and Port Melbourne to suggest the contrary. And I say bollocks to the mockers that think this is a crap car. I like sushi and I like fish and chips too. This car is fun, nimble, fast and wicked. More than enough for me. Beer battered sushi anyone?