If you read the Epicurean section of The Age in Melbourne or pretend to have a clue, no doubt you would’ve seen all the trendy pizza restaurants emerging lately. They’re in urban heartlands, they do toppings and combinations you haven’t dreampt of before and are all representative of the new coming of pizza.

They’re doing their best to form a high expectation and make life difficult for you. You either can’t book to get in (eg I Carusi), have to book weeks in advance or have to be squeezed in some corner where the bar staff pity you. But is it all good? Well over the past few months I can tell you my favourite pizza joint hasn’t changed and there is a clear loser.

Mr Wolf is the most overhyped, straight out of Sydney, contrived pizza experience i’ve ever been subjected to. It’s uber metro and plush, but overly noisy and the staff rush you. I lost count how many times my water was topped up or table unnecessarily cleared; not what you’d call and intimate experience. Although to some people’s liking, these pizzas are oily! I’m assured it’s ‘good oil’ but not a good experience. You feel like you’ve done shift work by the time you pay the cheque.

Ladro’s, in the heart of Collingwood, however does live up to expectation. You may be waiting literally hours without a booking though, but you will be rewarded. Their mains (such as a goat stew) are to die for. While the pizzas certainly aren’t below par, the special of the day will no doubt be special far longer in the minds of the lucky consumer. A lot brighter and more cosmo than metro inside. Feels a lot more Melbourne than Sydney (don’t you wish you could bottle it?!). Make sure you book well in advance and don’t eat all day.

I Carusi in Carlton is more subtle and intimate. The menu is very no fuss and inexpensive. A great place for a romantic night out with unpretentious toppings and great pizzas. There’s even a chilli and brocolli pizza which i’m assured is excellent. You can’t book, but for the relatively inexpensive yet opulent experience, it’s unsurpassed.

I Carusi 2 in St Kilda is a more lively, less intimate version. Again I don’t think you can book and it’s basically the same far in a more street cafe environment. It’s a slightly lively, more pizzeria feel than a swanky restaurant unlike it’s Carlton protege. So whatever you prefer, or whoever you’re taking. You decide!

Finally there’s the old favourite, L’Osteria on Nicholson St. Which has been the gourmet pizza place of choice since I believe 1989. More an Italian restaurant than a up and coming trendy restaurant, it’s well priced, old Italian style and homely. Their gourmet pizza with beef sausage, parmesan and rocket is the favourite (the menu’s in Italian and im not!)

Not where you’d go for the trendiest chefs and most speculated wanky pizza topping but well on par with the newcomers and never booked out two weeks in advance. Their pizzas and mains are never bad and will leave an impression that will last far longer than the avant garde bathroom in Ladros.

So what’s the favourite, the brisket, anchovie, artichoke, sundried tomatoes and olive pizza I made at home last night. Go to them all, learn, try, do your own thing. But if you can’t be bothered cooking, there’s always a table at L’Osteria and you’ll never wish you stayed at home.