The world adores matt hayward

King John, fearless leader of corporate-feudal, imperial national Australia yesterday announced that he intends to ditch the unfair dismissal laws for companies with under 100 employees.

This also is according to Channel 9 and SBS’ TV news coverage, has these impacts:
- your probationary period on a new job will be increased from 3 to 6 months. So that’s 3 months again where you can be totally dismissed without the penance and rights of a full fledged employed. You might as well be casual staff!
- redundancy packages may no longer be required. Does this have anything to do with selling the rest of Telstra off (T3 share offer coming out shortly) John?
- a review of all workplace awards. I’m sure it won’t be the last. Sure it may be good for now, but by this man’s record, the future looks grim.

Now that we are indeed a feudal system, with Howard running the house of reps and the senate, these will come through no worries. So say goodbye to your job security.

Frankly Mr Howard, a few extra dollars in my pocket is nothing compared to my rights and security. I’d much rather know that I won’t be kicked out on the street unfairly on a seconds notice than buy an extra bottle of wine a week. Thanks yet again for looking out for big corporations and upper-middle class Aussies that are sooooo struggling under your ‘democracy’.

Rest assured, this is probably only the tip of the iceberg. Howard will eat away at every workers’ right in every socio economic or vocational group except his own. It makes me want to join a union.

Let me rephrase that, the ONLY good thing about Howard is he makes you realise why democracy was meant to exist in the first place, and now so blatantly doesn’t.

So here’s a few things, albeit wishy washy, I actually have an opinion on and care about!

Food
1. Organic food should be subsidised. Our food chain (especially Chicken and Pork) has become so corrupted by so called Agribusiness profiteering that it’s literally causing unprecedented allergies, ADD in kids and general poor health. Food is cheap but good, natural food is ridiculously expensive.
2. Fast food chains must localise their brands, signage and advertising in respect for local aesthetic and custom, as opposed to their blatantly American signage
3. Franchise stores that advise that they sell ‘fresh’ ingredients (McDonalds, Subway, Hungry Jacks), must by local produce from wholesale, domestic market sources, not owned by the franchise. They should be audited to ensure that their food is of market produce quality and of highest possible quality, not the most profitable to the parent corporation or franchisee.
4. Supermarkets by law must stock Fair Trade products in every possible category.

Marketing
1. All consumable media based marketing campaigns (eg CD ROMs, DVDs, cassettes etc) must be based on reusable, rewritable media. Landfill is full of too many ’sign up to AOL now!’ CD ROMS
2. The airbrushing of celebrities’ teeth and eyes to near demi-god like perfection is to be banned in all media. Any ‘airbrush artists’ and their respective publications would be liable

John Howard
1. In Jello Biafran style, John and any member of his current cabinet, must stand out the front of Kirrabilly house in clown suits and be whipped with rotten, battery hen eggs, handed out by independent and Greens pollies.

The Economy
1. Fundamentally, ensure good socialist principals by maintaining an equal share of poverty, not an inequal share of wealth.

Foreign Relations
1. Recognition of Australia as a part of Asia.

Refugees
1. No babies, women or children should be ‘detained’ period. There’s absolutely no excuse for this. Regardless of how they got here.
2. Surely illegal refugees could redeem themselves under some sort of labour loan, similar to what Dutch, Polish, Italian and Greek immigrants were subjected to in the 50s and 60s instead of being jailed? SURELY! Fuck, people are willing to earn their freedom.

Trade
1. ABOLISH FREE TRADE AGREEMENTS WITH THE US OR ANY OTHER COUNTRY. Free trade simply is a ruse for corporations to remove any environmental or trade laws that get in the way of their profits. For example ‘Dolphin Safe’ Tuna and ‘Clean fuel’ in the US. Both these policies were abolished because (apparently) third world countries couldn’t deliver these products. In actual fact, these laws made got in the way of profit from tuna canneries and oil compaines. So now they deliver second rate products and you pay just as much for them.
2. Foreign corporations and chain stores must have a minimum level of Australian product.

Eis
188 Bridport St, Albert Park
(03) 9645-7448

Misuzu’s
7 Victoria Ave, Albert Park
(03) 9699-9022

Albert Park sucks. It’s a myriad of inheritance friendly, rich folk who think they’re special because they can wear their collar up and hang out in a beachside suburb. The wank factor is at a stellar high. It’s enough to make you cringe into nautiousness. But wait, the food’s not that bad.

Everything is typically up market, with your patisseries and L’Oustral that we’ve reviewed before and snobby pubs with Champagne lounges. Even an old school burger joint. But what brings us back to the bourgeois today are two great Japanese restaurants within earshot of each other.

Misuzus is hot. It’s fullish most every weeknight with solarium tanned yuppies, rather than yellow skins and round faces that are the true indication of a geniune, quality Asian fare. EIS (I think pronounced ‘ice’) a few years down the track and not so packed. Both have exceptional fare, but there’s only one clear winner.

Misuzus have a fantastic wine list. Including my favourite Chablis and some nice Spanish and Italian reds. They can safely brag the only salad bar I have drooled over ever! The walls are adorned with Japanese murals full of double entendres and the background lesbian bathing fest. Despite all this though, the food wasn’t terribly remarkable or adventurous. The servings are generous. Most eat only one dish. This seems to suit most gaijins to the ground, but gone is the adventure and subtlety of selecting several causes to tantalise the pallette. It didn’t do much for me.

EIS is far more adventurous. Sure they don’t have lesbians painted on the walls. They are however adorned corner to corner with a fine selection of well enjoyed, empty wine bottles. There is a great fusion of Japanese tranquility and French flavours. No Chablis, but they make up for it by matching wine to their courses excellently. Unlike Misuzu’s there was a most memorable Carpaccio, which was gently seared salmon slices in Italian/French style sauces. Not an all you can eat, but something special, contemporary and especially different.

Servings are French inspired, because they’re on the small side, but it suits the cuisine and it means you can try more. Staff are way more nice and friendly too, far more ‘omoshiroi’.

So if you drive an ageing 80s BMW like it’s a brand new Rolls Royce and wear your collar up without and reference to ‘the Fonz’, go spend your inheritance at Misuzu’s. You’ll be well fed and in good company. If you’re not with the go set, and appreciate the subtleties of Japanese and Italian, i’ll probably see you at EIS, because I can’t wait to get back.