Eis
188 Bridport St, Albert Park
(03) 9645-7448

Misuzu’s
7 Victoria Ave, Albert Park
(03) 9699-9022

Albert Park sucks. It’s a myriad of inheritance friendly, rich folk who think they’re special because they can wear their collar up and hang out in a beachside suburb. The wank factor is at a stellar high. It’s enough to make you cringe into nautiousness. But wait, the food’s not that bad.

Everything is typically up market, with your patisseries and L’Oustral that we’ve reviewed before and snobby pubs with Champagne lounges. Even an old school burger joint. But what brings us back to the bourgeois today are two great Japanese restaurants within earshot of each other.

Misuzus is hot. It’s fullish most every weeknight with solarium tanned yuppies, rather than yellow skins and round faces that are the true indication of a geniune, quality Asian fare. EIS (I think pronounced ‘ice’) a few years down the track and not so packed. Both have exceptional fare, but there’s only one clear winner.

Misuzus have a fantastic wine list. Including my favourite Chablis and some nice Spanish and Italian reds. They can safely brag the only salad bar I have drooled over ever! The walls are adorned with Japanese murals full of double entendres and the background lesbian bathing fest. Despite all this though, the food wasn’t terribly remarkable or adventurous. The servings are generous. Most eat only one dish. This seems to suit most gaijins to the ground, but gone is the adventure and subtlety of selecting several causes to tantalise the pallette. It didn’t do much for me.

EIS is far more adventurous. Sure they don’t have lesbians painted on the walls. They are however adorned corner to corner with a fine selection of well enjoyed, empty wine bottles. There is a great fusion of Japanese tranquility and French flavours. No Chablis, but they make up for it by matching wine to their courses excellently. Unlike Misuzu’s there was a most memorable Carpaccio, which was gently seared salmon slices in Italian/French style sauces. Not an all you can eat, but something special, contemporary and especially different.

Servings are French inspired, because they’re on the small side, but it suits the cuisine and it means you can try more. Staff are way more nice and friendly too, far more ‘omoshiroi’.

So if you drive an ageing 80s BMW like it’s a brand new Rolls Royce and wear your collar up without and reference to ‘the Fonz’, go spend your inheritance at Misuzu’s. You’ll be well fed and in good company. If you’re not with the go set, and appreciate the subtleties of Japanese and Italian, i’ll probably see you at EIS, because I can’t wait to get back.