Last night for a bit of pre-show dinner, we decided to go to Tutto Bene for a risotto. Now normally risotto conjures up images of big, hearty bowls full of arborio rice, meat and veg you can eat till your arteries clog up. But oh no, not at Tuttos! The main rissoto sizes (for the money) are entree size at best. On average about $18 a plate. More for mains.

Admitedly, the risottos are ‘all that’. I had the El Presidente, so called because it’s a simple risotto created for a visiting Italian president. Chock full of expensive cheese and the best balsamic. But your stomach shouldn’t growl when your having coffee at dessert. You can simply fuck that with a ten foot barge pole Mr President. The Missus had a squal risotto which was sublime, but the Presidente was the pick.

As always service and ambience can turn tap water into wine. At least on the service front ‘Bene can kiss my pale white arse. When we were paying the bill, the head waiter was too pre-occupied with his stapler to even talk. Also it was 5.55 when I arrived and they opened at 6. Head waiter bloke, wouldn’t even let me have a beer at my table! We’d already booked a table, it wasn’t like I would be putting anybody out! The table staff were OK though, considering how busy it was.

Some people will skimp on good service and a full belly for a good feed, but this place belongs in the yarra, not next to it. Serve bigger servings and get a new head waiter (he may’ve been the owner) or get ‘the fuck outta Dodge’.