Have you seen that ‘Anatomy For Beginners‘ on Monday nights on SBS yet? Well if you’re not fond of dead bodies being dissected, give it a miss. But if you have, you know that it’s actually quite bearable. The human body parts look actually quite pallatable, and believe me I am not fond of the sight of blood!
So anyhoo, we’re in the pub today and my mate Tim suggests, ‘wouldn’t it be great if Chopper Read was on that show’ and then it was born, ‘Uncle Chop Chop’s Anatamy for Beginners‘. Let’s face it, SBS would lap it up. After all South Park and Fat Pizza are a bit passe now, and everyone is all soccered up after the world cup. What would be better than watching Chopper cut the ears off of a cadaver a la his own dissection in the mid 80’s in Pentride prison? Hey some of the cadavers donated to science (courtesy of the Police mortuary) could be his own victims!
Let’s face it, Chop Chop mightn’t be good with a scalpel, but i’m sure he knows his way around a macette or a pick axe. Should be hours of shits and giggles.
John Saffran could be his nerdy assistant in scrubs, standing ever diligently by his side with the scalpel. Saying witty lines like ‘Look Chopper, looks like his mohel’s already dissected the foreskin. He must be Jewish!’. God only knows Saffran needs to try something new, as his JJJ radio show continues to plateau to evermore bland shit talking.
So remember kids, if a programmer from SBS stumbles upon my blog, you heard it here first. Oh and yeah, Mr SBS, Tim and I get a 50% cut for the concept.
Had a difficult decision to make the other day, whether to buy this book or ‘The Dirt’ about Motley Crue. Lemmy being the all-enduring, reptilian like god of rock that he is, I decided to go for this 300 page manifest on the big man or metal. Let’s face it, he makes Keith Richards look like a scared little mouse.
So anyway, as some of you will know, I am an awful reader. I ploughed through this in a week, or four sittings. 150 pages in the first night. That’s somewhat of a record for me. Yes the book is a ripping read, but it would’ve taken far longer had the book had any real depth to it. The first half talks about Lemmy’s upbrining and the early days of British rock in the 60s. We see Lemmy leave remote Wales, get a guitar, take up speed and basically become a roady and a professional drifter. But it seems fairly scattered. Infact, I think it’s so scattered because the poor sod doesn’t really remember half of it!
There are some classic rock star drink and drug stories and insights into other bands and rock stars, but there’s very little detail. Just "he’s OK" and "she’s a bitch" or whatever, again probably because old Lemm’ was stoned out of his gord the whole time. The last half of the book however, is more to do with the low lever, "we hired this manager, fired this producer etc" all the operational stuff to do with running a big Rock and Roll band. A little dissapointing in that regard in all honesty.
Lemmy also offers a few insights into his thoughts on sexuality, terrorism, his penchant for history and chauvenism, but nothing shocking. If anything, yes the boy is overtly macho, but he has actually gone quite far out of his way to aid the careers of prominent ladies of rock including Lita Ford and the band Girlschool. Overall, Lemmy comes across as a rock stars’ gentleman, and a very good one at that!
In short this book is a fast paced collection of vignettes, rather than extended focus on any one period of his career, band mate or personality. I wish it was 500 pages longer, but that just wouldn’t be Lemm’. This is the epitome of the man and a good read at that. Hopefully one day we’ll get the full story. Now for that 600 page Motley Crue book . . . About 6.5 out of 10. Worth a look. Buy White Line Fever at Amazon.com
Hah, i’ve got my first email from the Wheels Blog. Seems someone was as patient as me for it to load. Unfortunately this guy is not as open minded or as erudite, and not doing himself any favours with his witty retort. Since he was too gutless to leave a name or an email address, i’ve taken the liberty of sharing his pro-Commodore rant with you. Serves you right big fella!
Firstly here’s his rant in full.
"Your a LOSER wrote:
You believe Toyota has it in spades over Holden, you a joke. The Holden
commodore has been the greatest selling vehicle in the country for almost a decade. Toyota have only recently overtaken Holden in sales largely due to peoples mis-conception of big 6 cylinder being a big thirsty thing, i have not once been in a Toyota capable of chewing up the K’s like a Commodore or Falcon can do, the fact that you drive an XR6T daily you would realise this. You purchase your girlfriends Carolla and let me know just how much room you have
left after you put a child seat, two adults and a second child, while your at it throw in the weekly shopping. GOODLUCK!
Also about them being slow in a few years? Is this compared to the newer models released? or your corolla, with each model there is an inevitable power increase as with most cars but obviously not Toyota’s!
Good Day yourself, i’ll take the safety of my large family car anyday."
Now the part I really enjoy. Spelling bee!
you’re a joke NOT you a joke
girlfriend’s Corolla NOT girlfriends Carolla
Now for the responses
You believe Toyota has it in spades over Holden, you a joke. The Holden commodore has been the greatest selling vehicle in the country for almost a decade.
If you did your homework, Holden have been outselling everyone else with large family cars for a lot longer than a decade. Problem is mate, Toyota have outflanked the competition in every other niche and category in the Australian car market (Landcruiser, Hilux, Corolla, Starlet etc) , and have done so for at least a decade. That’s the real sales success. Good on Toyota for having the fore sight not to take Holden head on. Unfortunately your big Aussie hero only really has one ace up its sleeve, and that’s going to really, really hurt them in the long term.
Toyota have only recently overtaken Holden in sales largely due to
peoples mis-conception of big 6 cylinder being a big thirsty thing,
I’d hardly say it’s a misconception. My XR6T gets 17.7 lt to 100 kilometres! My XT Falcon before that would be lucky to get 15 litres. And guess what big fella, I don’t drive my car every day!
i have not once been in a Toyota capable of chewing up the K’s like a Commodore or Falcon can do, the fact that you drive an XR6T daily you would realise this.
Try a Tarago and then you’ll find out why virtually every rock band in the world has at least one in their touring entourage. Effortless torque regardless of the load it’s carrying. And in fact, the ‘rolla ain’t so bad either! Oh and the only time I do genuinely enjoy the Turbo is on interstate trips, but that’s only 2 times a year.
You purchase your girlfriends Carolla and let me know just how much room you have
left after you put a child seat, two adults and a second child, while your at
it throw in the weekly shopping. GOODLUCK!
Actually mate, my old Pulsar SSS had the biggest boot of any car I’ve had. Not a ‘rolla but a similar sized car none the less. A lot easier to park too! I sternly hope you haven’t bred either. I for one don’t have children. Also my dad had virtually every Falcon from the XE to the EF as a company car and a few Commodores as well. I’ve owned 2 Falcons and a Commodore and the quality has been a little average to say the least, compared to the Japanese cars. So at least the car won’t fall apart around the shopping.
Also about them being slow in a few years? Is this compared to the newer models released? or your corolla, with each model there is an inevitable power increase as with most cars but obviously not Toyota’s!
Toyota make their newer cars to better meet their users needs as lifestyles change. Holden, especially HSV, just power everything up until a 3yo HSV is worth virtually nothing. My friend has just bought a 2003 HSV Clubsport R8 for $43K that was approx $75 3 years ago. Something tells me kind sir, Toyotas tend to hold their values a little bit better.
Good Day yourself, i’ll take the safety of my large family car anyday."
What’s your measurement of safety? You’ll probably find you’re loosing out their too unless you’re talking about the VE Commodore which will be the first to be built from scratch to international standards! Unlike, kind sir, the Toyotas.
Anyway, it sounds like this bloke hasn’t experienced any other cars to get some perspective. Albeit I drive the Falcon Turbo (Because I can. You can mostly thank Peter Costello’s taxation rules for that), size don’t make the best family car baby! Usability, intelligent design, good resale value, nimbleness and build quality can play a very big part as well. If you’ve ever sat in the Pug or the VW, you’d realise how well they make use of small space compared to the Falcon anyway, which because of the C pillar you can fit any decent size objects in. So as you’ve probably heard from the girls before, it’s now how big it is, it’s what you do with it!
But hey I tell you what Mr Anonymous, why not for homework drive a Peugeot 306, a Corolla Sportivo and a VW Golf and tell me that they still aren’t family cars.
Had a difficult decision to make the other day, whether to buy this book or ‘The Dirt’ about Motley Crue. Lemmy being the all-enduring, reptilian like god of rock that he is, I decided to go for this 300 page manifest on the big man or metal. Let’s face it, he makes Keith Richards look like a scared little mouse.