The peoples' democratic blog of Matt Hayward

How can you some up this chestnut? Well there’s more holes in the plot and continuity than Gary Glitter’s last alibi. It’s pretty average in most if not every regard.

Firstly, there’s no effort to explain how these guys get all there toys. At least in the original series, they try and make it look like they were repossed from fallen drug barons. But now, it’s just implied that there US Cops and because of that they have this amazing cachet of planes and cars that just belong to them. Quite unlikely I reckon in reality.

Then the baddies are these neo nazi cocaine smugglers. Now while nazis make awesome bad guy candidates, not quite so plausible as Miami drug barons taking on (or even worse working with) the Bolivians, Hatians and Colombians. This too me was a bit unbelievable.

Oh and then there’s the Yoko Ono lookalike (it gets better guys, she actually evolves into a really hot chick). But even Yoko’s not the worst thing about this hash job of editing and plot development. And they try and make the other baddie Pablo Escobar wannabe look like Denis Roussous. But put them in a bling bling SUV and apparently most Americans believe they are Bolivia’s worst drug lords. I’d hate to see how bad ass Tiny Tim and Nana Mouskouri could be in an SUV, scary . . .

Basically Foxx and Farrell in their lead roles are a thousand shades of beige. There’s none of the flare or character of the original two. Somehow they even manage to make some of the blandest shower sex scenes i’ve ever seen. Sure they’re great actors separately, but there’s no panache, character or dimension to any of their acting in this one. In fact there might have been one line of decent dialogue by one of the baddies.

Except for two side boob scenes and a great brain stem shoot, just plain miss this movie. That is unless you can stop saying "Why?" or "WTF" for at least 90 minutes. Because believe me you will be. This film makes escapism challenging and the Yoko thing just ruined it for me. I think I would rather listen to Yokos worstest hits sitting on a rusty bed of nails, with my girlfriend’s mother than watch this movie again. It would be less painful. Thanks for the invite though Stevo!