A tad pretentious, but somehow vital is the new SOS. A bit on the painful side of avant garde, this restaurant is brand spankers new. Despite being above a common as muck food court in Melbourne Central (cnr of Spencer St and La Trobe Sts), it’s so fancy, you’re lucky if you can find the door - literally. Thank god the food is good.

We were walking through the thoroughfare trying to find the door, when people started walking out! And there was the door, camoflagued into the wall. A little bit ‘Get Smart’ without talking about the bizarro toilets. It’s beyond pretentious, it really is.

Soon enough, it becomes apparent that this is the sister restaurant of Taxi. So not only have they taken all their ‘learnings’ from Taxi, but all the staff too. We joked that the staff must’ve been working double shifts between the restaurants. A bit of success has spawned a risky little eco friendly offering.

Then there’s the staff, who are expressionless poster children for the Prozac generation. If they smiled it would’ve killed them.

Finally the food. Absolutely fantastic. The wank factor is there in abundance, although when food’s this good, it’s forgivable. For an entree, we have Northern Territory mud crab with spagetti and a pestoey thing of wild thistle. Sounds atrocious, but bloody hell it was good. Narcotic good. Everything is vegetarian or seafood with Italian influences. My main was a Gnocci based dish that was fairly tasty, although incomporable to the entree. French goat’s cheese for desert as well. The perfect end.

The wine list looks virtually identical (to what I can remember) of Taxi’s. Not bad.

This restaurant could very well nearly be a 5 out of 5, if it wasn’t so wanky. This restaurant is a bio diesel Saab convertible with a Greenpeace sticker. Hippy meets yuppie in a trainwreck of khakis, eco sustainable fish and Country Road suits. It’s only barely pallatable. But like any good bottle of wine, it needs time to breathe, so you and it can adjust to each other. Then it comes good.

Fantastic food and it can only get better.