So er, I guess you saw the videos on Youtube (hey where else) of the riots at Noble Park Maccas. I’d like to say I was neutral in the matter. I’m not.

*** Firstly a bit of perspective***
It was back in the olden days - 2001. When phones had green screens and ring tones were still monotonal. We were still getting used to predictive text! Nissan Silvias were still new and uncommon. You still bought video cameras that ran on tapes to the drags! We were some of the first to use these things called forums to organise car meets. Noble Park Maccas, Rowville and a few places in Notting Hill were the shiznit, especially in summer. Oh the hot summer nights. That’s when stuff got good.

So one night, we were at Noble Park Maccas, a few hundred of us. One bloke was in a Mitusbishi Evo at the lights. His 6 year old son was licking an ice cream cone in the passenger seat, while he waited for a worthy oponent at the red light in front of those golden arches. The kid was just there for cover. But who knows, he probably asked his dad to come along. After all this is Noble Park, an absolute shit hole of the Eastern Suburbs. Hoons just think it’s their collective right to congregate there. God knows we did!

There was a vibe that something was going to go down, but we just didn’t care. Hell I guess that’s what makes it exciting. Call it young and stupid We’d been getting away with it for a few too many weeks and the Maccas manager (who could if but for the uniform and the pay cheque been one of us) was itching to call the cops.

All at once the cops raided. And I do mean raided. They even blocked the Maccas drive through. About 30 cars, most of which were from the traffic infringement unit (i’ve forgotten the acronym). Every hoony car on sight was roadied. When the cops broke into a VL Interceptor (the owner had bolted) to ‘roady’ it, about 30 blokes started getting testy. My mates car had already been ‘roadied’ from here to kingdom come, so we just wanted to bolt quick smart. But the cops didn’t win any friends that night.  And those that could get away did - probably to another drag spot.

We never went back. My mates old heap was off the road for at least a year. I sure as hell didn’t want to learn the lesson twice. Between us we now had thousands of dollars in fines for being a dickhead in cars. We licked our wounds and that was that. For some, they don’t seem to learn so easily. And that’s where the problem starts.

***my parents did it, my brother did it IT’S MY RIGHT to do it!***
What happened in Noble Park days ago was like (albeit not racial) Cronulla: nothing new. Honestly, it wouldn’t surprise me if the shops there have been looted before. It’s been happening for at least 10 or 15 years. It probably goes back further than the Sharpies of the 70s. Blokes (and increasingly girls) are always going to want to drag or get in fights. Every year the cops crack down harder and every year the scorn gets greater. Everyone wants a story to impress their mates with, and deep down, tell their grandkids about. What are you going to have a car twice as powerful on your Ps as your uncle’s old Holden VK and not have a story to tell? Hell no! It ain’t just this generation going feral. It’s been reaching boiling point for a long time.

To me this seems to be the aggregate effect of tougher laws on a new generation. They’ve taken away all the fun. So more than ever they want to get back at the cops for spoiling it. Especially now you can have a video on your mobile and all the bragging rights that go with it!

Unfortunately things will get worse. SMS travels faster that 11 444 calls any day of the week.

*** So here’s the corny ending ***
Screw judging people. You watch A Current Affair and you’re so filled with hate, you just want to make laws so kids can’t shit their pants without their parents’ consent. You know to feel safe. I dare say, laws have provoked the situation. The very thing that made many parents and cousins etc cool (I have a mate who claims his parents first met at the illegal drags) you’ve made illegal. So look for some more deep rooted causes before you point the finger baby boomers please! You’re kidults are bored shitless with an arsenal of toys. Aaah can’t you feel the hate.  . .

Secondly, I love cars. I love drags. I love the smell of buring rubber. Just absolutely adore it. It’s only got worse as i’ve got older (in a Jeremy Clarkson, quasi mature kind of way). But there’s simply more to life than driving around industrial estates waiting to get another $500 fine because you can’t find something to do. This is the really corny bit peoples. If you’re going to those drags, sadly you haven’t got enough on your plate and you should find something meaningful to do. There you go, I said it. Urrgh it feels disgusting saying something mature! The further you get away from your car, the more attractive you usually are to women (by default) anyway.

The drags are fun to a point doing it, but it’s mostly just fucking stupid and it’s only getting worse. I’m not even concerned about the car safety aspect (go natural selection!). Just the idiots that show up are obviously finding it harder to get a bad reputation than ever and are probably ready to start stabbing each other just to get on Youtube. Go somewhere CHALLENGING you can really shit yourself in a car: advanced driving, skid pan, DECA days, track days, do a rally course. Prove yourself to yourself. Don’t show off to bogans It’s far more rewarding.

So um, that’s it. This stuff will continue to go in cycles, well at least until the Maccas manager calls the cops or the winter kicks in. Maybe after all it’s just the heat?!