The world adores matt hayward

If you were starting to think that categories are old starting to get old school, well so do the guys at Wordpress. Because when I upgraded from from some reaaaally recent version, my categories and tag clouds went blank. Good grief Charlie Brown. Anyway if you’re here you’ve probably broken your blog too. Don’t despair, here’s how to fix.

Note: This is probably a really important time to mention that .1 releases (as in the 2.6.1 that I’m eagerly awaiting) always have bug fixes like this. So don’t blow your load too soon with new releases like I did!

1. Log into your CPanel if you have one

2. Scroll down to ‘Databases’ and select ‘PHPMyAdmin’. For the lay, this is a database browser/admin tool

3. PHPMyAdmin should load in a new tab/window.

4. On the left hand side, you will see a list of databases installed on your web site. Select the database that runs your Wordpress. It usually has ‘wp2′ in the name.

5. The screen will refresh displaying all the tables in that database

6. From the left hand side, select the wp_terms table.

7. You should see a screen with the following rows in the table listed term_id, name, slug, term_group

8. To view the table in a bit more context, select the ‘browse’ tab

9. If you had the same problem that I did, this whole table will be all but blank. Maybe the ’slug’ column will be a bunch of minus twos, e.g. ‘-2-2-2-2-2′

10. Anyway name is your category name and slug is the directory for it e.g. ‘cars and stuff’ as a slug would be ‘cars-and-stuff’ because you shouldn’t have spaces in a web directory name.

11. If you have a backup of your categories, then the term_id field should be all you need to identify our categories. Just open up your SQL backup script in Dreamweaver, search for a category name and you should be able to find the original categories. Now you can cut and paste them into the new database using PHPMyAdmin.

If not, go to the ‘wp_term_taxonomy’ column and yes the names will be blank, but it will have the post counts for the categories. That should help you work out which category is which by the number of posts there.

Finally. I’ve been hanging since Tim Rogers or his Svengali posted something on his Myspace blog back in Marchish this year. But JB-Hifi have the new You Am I album entitled Dilletantes for pre-order. Sadly it’s not be titled I’m Proud of my Gay Son, but they always have had some fun with forthcoming album titles.

Looks like the boys are still on the Virgin label too, which is cool. Check out this new promo shot too. Looks like they are dressing back in their mid nineties grungy roots. At the very least drummer Rusty (second from the right) is lookin’ very Brit pop. Maybe he’s replacing Zack Starkey in Oasis?! Now there’s a rumour…

Anyways can’t wait to hear the new material. If it’s as fresh and ‘fuck you’-ish as Convicts was, it promises to be a schorcher.

In a recent press Johannesburg press conference, Jeremy Clarkson was asked what he thought about South African wine. His comment, ‘well it’s better than Australian wine’. Given that the poms love to go Aussie bashing, it was to be expected. But it got me thinking, has the average Aussie tried a South African wine? Australia is a definitive ‘new world’ wine country. So we should be free of the snobbery of the Champagne or Alsace region of France where appellations are mandated and chateaus centuries old. You’d think we’d be open minded about wine. Sadly not.

I put it to the average ‘long in the leg, thick in the head Aussie’ that you are the world’s most unmitigated wine snob. You buy all your wine from the one shop (Dan Murphys). For those of you who came in late or are not Aussies, Dan Murphys is a booze supermarket, like a Wal Mart dedicated to everything alcoholic. Good to save a few bucks, but just like Wal Mart, you save a bundle on somethings and get totally ripped off. Worse than that, you’re not getting any story behind the wine, you hardly ever meet the makers and you’re served by some spotty git that only knows what’s good because the manager always knicks it. Their ‘cellar’ is an industrial warehouse the size of Belgium and that’s about it. There’s no guy with a beard that could tell you everything from the etymology of the name of the terroir of the soil.

Secondly, all your information comes from at best two sources, Jeremy Oliver (no not the celebrity chef) and some bloke Halliday. Have you read these books? I have read the later in detail. He tastes about 4000 wines a year and can often take the piss if you read enough of it. My problem with these books is it’s like calling and insurance company for a quote for fully comprehensive on your car. ‘what’s the make and model?’, ‘an 86 Camira sedan’. ‘OK your insurance will be $500′, ‘OK. It’s that arbitrary. So they’ve made finding fine wine like getting a quote on your car insurance. It’s just statistics. I put it to you that that’s not a journey, it’s a destination. And it’s bloody boring. I did not get into wine to learn better maths. Ever been to a proper wine tasting not just to get pissed, but to get a different opinion or learn something? Probably not. Ever been to a cellar door? In the truest sense unlikely.

Thirdly, go to your local Dan Murphys. Pick up a ten dollar bottle of French plonk and you’re looked at as some ‘un ooostraayalan’ wine terrorist. The only exception being a bottle of Sauv Blanc from New Zealand for the ladies. God forbid you look at a brilliant Argentinian drop, a brilliant Croatian Chardonnay or a South African Rose. It’s like slapping Don Bradman in the face. Just buy your Shiraz rated at 96 points (sadly there are quite a few rated so highly) and get back in your Commodore, off to your football club barby.

Frankly, I envy the British like Clarkson. They’re in a position where they have ample old world wine. They also have brilliant wine from the Americas, Africas and Oceania and will pick the best for a price range. But there’s no tall poppy syndrome when it comes to the continent it’s from. They have no real domestic wine and the whole world is your oyster. It appears to be about what’s good and what’s reasonably priced. God forbid Australians should ever be so open minded.

Finally, sure snobs of any kind suck. But give me the informed, erudite snob with a story to tell any day that I could learn something from than some Barry McKenzie wanna be fuckwit that thinks just because people are ill informed enough to spend $450 on a bottle of Penfolds Grange, everything Australian is great thank you very much. Sadly, trophy wines like Penfolds that satisfy a demographic and not a palette are doing a great deal of damage to our international reputation. If the Average Barry Humphries Aussie took a blind taste test, he or she would probably find that even South American wine is blinding more interesting than the staid old Aussie Shiraz.

My conclusion is this. If you only drink an Aussie Shiraz and bugger the rest of the world, stick to beer. You’re being the wine snob you think you’re not being. Oh the irony. And I’d rather hear someone tell me some scintillating wine bogus adventure than the latest 5000 wines that Halliday has tasted between soires.

Please for the love of god telling me how great Aussie wine is when you’re too scared to try anything else. If that was the case, I’d still be listening to New Kids on the Block for music. Wine continues to amaze me because you can never try everything. You could never know everything about it. You can’t possibly try everything. That should be a good thing, not a bad thing! Stop being so stuck up and put some imagination into your drinking Australia. You bore me!

According to the Wikipedia, this book was compiled from something like 12,000 pages of notes from the Roth man himself. If that’s the case, the co author can take a bow. Because this book is a bit dated (1997) but it’s one of the best reads in rock history. In fact with the recent reunion, a re write would be interesting!

For shear entertainment value it’s hard to beat. David takes you from his humble origins in deepest, darkest, anti semiti  1950s Indiana, right up through the glory days of Van Halen. There’s plenty of crazy road crew stories, how me met the Van Halen brothers and shenanigans galore.

What’s most impressive about it though is his insight into the rock business. He talks a lot about riding his bike while on tour around towns in the wee hours of the morning. Pretty much because it’s the only time he got to see the sights on the road. Also intruiging is how involved Diamond Dave got himself in the business. From renting out the PA to the Van Halens (a sure fire way to get in the band) to producing his own records, even the touring merchandise.

There’s also some scathing insights into the world of rock management and getting royaly shafted as big acts often do. With lots of useful advice for would be musicians.  What really makes the book remarkable though is Roth’s passion for adventure. He’s taken his love of old school adventure books like Huckleberry Finn to the extreme with stories of rock climbing, exploring the Amazon jungle, even Mount Everest!

Admitedly, this all sounds like ‘Geez Dave must be a top bloke!’ and you have to be a bit objective. He tries not to pick on any former band mates too harshly, although in doing so glorifies himself a bit. But until Van Halen or a few particular session musos retort, meh this is all the testimonial we have. And while those guys are virtuosos, Dave is a true show man with more than a few surprises up his sleeve. Their books wouldn’t be anywhere near as amazing as this.

A definite must read for fans of rock books. Five out of five.