general


OK, a while ago I posted something about an Israeli art scam occurring in the inner city suburbs of Melbourne. And for a two bit blog like this one the response has been overwhelming, 80 comments of peoples experiences all over the world and counting. From Brisbane to Ireland to Arizona, people have been having so called Israeli art students knocking on their door with a folio full of student canvasses for sale.

Whether or not this is a con or not depends on your moral disposition. It is a con if you don’t like people lying to you or being grossly ripped off. Some of you seem to think that this is the essence of capitalism. The culprits of this scam probably go with the Israeli bit because of poor old Israel always getting bombed in the news and what have the Jews done to anyone (a hem, MOSSAD! But let’s stick to the point). In this sense it is a scam. It’s highly unlikely that they’re Israeli. They’re just backpackers. And because of the all the bohemian Israeli hippies that travel the world (we saw a bunch in Peru), it’s a lovable and harmless persona for some unsuspecting homemaker cooking dinner to be surprised by.

The other way is it’s guaranteed not student art - Jewish or otherwise. They are reproduction paintings of more famous art, made in a factory probably somewhere in China. What is consistent is at poor quality canvases and very inferior inks are used. They’re typically not going to look great forever. Just think, Ford could paint your car with crappy paint, but what would it look like in 5 years? You wouldn’t want to drive it, and you certainly wouldn’t want a dull, faded painting on your wall either.

Perhaps the student thing justifies the cheaper materials. Then again, what student wouldn’t experiment with different materials and better quality to improve their art.

Someone in the comments eluded to the fact you can buy these prints direct from the manufacturer online. The price we got one for was $145 Australian. But the cost price must be about $20 - $50 each in reality.

For all of you that said pathos and bullshit aside, these people are doing nothing illegal, to some extent you’re right. Door to door sales or art isn’t legal. If bullshit wasn’t legal then no politician could ever get elected. My point is, even if it is quasi legal, it’s certainly not ethical. There’s no refund policy, no consumer affairs to ensure a level playing field.

Let’s face it, if you knocked on someones door saying you were a Palestinian/Iraqi/Syrian/Lebanese or whatever Arabic student, this would be all over the media. The US terror threat would be yellow, lilac or puce or something like that. Hence the Israeli + student persona. Clearly it works at least some of the time.

These guys, male and female need to tell a story to make you feel like you’re helping out students to give you a warm fuzzy feeling. Make no mistake, it’s absolute bullshit. You’re helping a local backpacker pay for their trip to the big banana or whatever local attraction in your area. And some local rich guy is wheeling it in. It’s the big easy for someone.

So whatever you do, don’t let your heart swell with pride and buy ten of them, thinking you’re helping out some aspirational creative types. Especially don’t get greedy and think the art is by some dazzling future prodigy that will make you wealthy. Because the only one getting wealthy is the local rich guy, giving these backpackers paltry commissions to bang on your door when you’re eating dinner!

But what if you like the art? Well there’s one piece of advice. When the offer to frame the art for you (and they will), my advice is go for it. Because any professional framer worth a pinch of salt will tell you their framing is worth ten times more than the so called art you just brought. So cheap art necessitates cheap framing. Just don’t give them anything more than a mobile number. Chances are it won’t go sour but who knows.

So how do you sum this up? If you get offered any paintings door to door, the sky isn’t going to fall down. They’re not MOSSAD agents infecting your pets with ebola virus or bugging your apartment for some bizarre Israeli intelligence purposes.

My advice to you is to kid the kidder. If you like something you see, be frank with them with the fact that you know the whole thing is bunk and offer them a crappy price for their mass produced paintings. Do everything cash, no credit or cheques and tell them you’ll call the cops if they don’t piss off sharpish.

OK, twice in a month I’ve been asked what are some cool things to do in KL if you only have a few days in town. I put this list together for a friend and thought it might be useful for some. These are selected highlights. Virtually all of them will be between 30 minutes to an hour from your hotel if you’re staying within KL city. So all very doable in a short time frame and a massively cool experience.

1) Go to the KLCC observation deck. it’s a big fucking tower!!! You have to climb a big fucking tower! Like how the fuck COULDN’T you climb one! It’s easy, i didn’t. But if you want to go, they only let like 5000 up to the observatory bit every day. Shopping is OK in KLCC, nothing I haven’t seen anywhere else. Watch it when you step outside though, the heat REALLY hits you in about 300 metres! Perhaps a cab to your destination might be a good idea if you’re not crazy about humidity.

N.B. KL really isn’t that accessible, especially if it’s raining because you get covered in pollution. And when it’s hot, you’ll walk about 500 metres and have sweat right through your clothes! This is not really an exaggeration. You’ve been warned!

Oh yeah, everything is negotiable - retail or market stand. Don’t like take any shit from no one lady!

2) See the view from KL Tower. So damn high the elevator ride is a few minutes. You can have quite a conversation going to the top. It is cheaper and easier to get into than KLCC though, as they only let a set amount of people go to the top each day. Awesome view, I got the anxiety attacks because it was so high. Kinda sorta good, but meh. No monkeys.

3) Eat naan bread at Steven’s Corner. If you can go to a place called ’stevens corner’ it’s near the mid valley mall off old Kelang Road. It’s like a third world Chapel St. Everyone cruises around there and Steven’s Corner has about the best naan bread you can eat anywhere in the world. They also have really great fruit drinks and lasses. Plus there’s about 100 other hawker stands (or mamaks as the locals call them. You CAN’T go to KL without eating at one) there as well if that doesn’t grab you. Will be about 45 mins out of KL maybe. I drank in the beer garden there till about 6 in the morning once. Long story, but a very easy and CHEAP place to eat some of the best food ever. I mean seriously good!

Mid valley mall is like Southland in Melbourne. Don’t bother. In fact I think I’ve seen an identical floor plan for that mall in Australia… another boring story.

4) Party in Bangsar. if you don’t want to slum it, hang out in Bangsar. it’s a little slice of Toorak and there’s night markets on a Sunday, ooh and the completely unpredictable (and inflatable) Irish pub. Very Chapel Street. Watch out for kids selling you DVDs, tissues, candies and completely useless shit. They’re persistent. i think there is a nightclub there called the Beach Club, which is a notoriously easy pick up joint/party club. But all the bars are here.

5) Bintang Walk is kinda touristy but really cool. Lots of nice pricey shops and la de dah stuff. Ooh Starbucks!

6) Wander down Petaling Street (aka China town) it’s truly awesome. During the day it’s stinking hot though. At night it’s cooler and becomes one massive market as the roads are only passable on feet with all the market vendor tents taking up the road. You can get this drink they call cats eye or something in Cantonese. Here you will find all the knock off software, DVDs, cds, clothes, watches, sunnies; anything a Chinese man can knock off will be sold here. It’s good to see because when the po-lice raid the joint, all the dodgy wares are on hospital beds and they plough them down the street!

7) Visit a Hindu temple. Go to this Indian temple near Petaling st, Brickfields
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sri_Kandaswamy_Kovil,_Brickfields
it’s unbelievable and almost walking distance from Chinatown.

8 ) Visit an amazing Buddhist temple. It’s really really cool, probably the number two thing. Because it overlooks the whole town and it’s absolutely massive.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thean_Hou_Temple

Oh yeah and eat nasi lemak. They have it wrapped in banana leaves on the tables of cafes in little pyramids. It’s a true Malaysian experience and would cost you about thirty cents from the average hawker stand, or mamaks as they’re known.

P.S. Cab drivers are scary. But not as scary as the cabs. Get used to it.