The world adores matt hayward

Well the old man upstairs certainly put on a good Sunday for it this year. The weather in Rutherglen was absolutely superb. Albeit not a centralised food and wine festival such as those at Werribee and Hanging Rock, each winery certainly made a go of it.

In a nutshell, for $5 you bought yourself a tasting glass. And for that, at every winery you go to, you can taste to your heart’s content - and that we did. If you like what you taste and fancy a bite, then you can have a meal and a glass of wine for $15. Each winery putting on a meal that suited their vino. Sounds good? Well keep reading!

Rutherglen is more known for it’s ports, muscats and a tannic little monster called Durif, kind of pronounced (Deau-reef). Until now i’ve had very little to do with this. But opportunities like this come only once.  Durif is also known as Petit Syrah in the US of A because it’s made of tiny Syrah (Shiraz) grapes with really thick skins. This gives you a wine can be up to twice as tannic as a normal read that’s very full bodied and can mature easily for up to 20 years. So there were plenty of gruff reds going around.

First stop was Buller Wines. Frankly these guys did nothing for me with some not-so-peppery, not so fruity Shiraz. But hey, you be the judge of your own pallette. You could tell the quality was there in their wines though and they put on a pretty good show. Although their sushi meal for $15 was downright average. Room for improvement next year!

Next stop, Cofield wines, and what a result! These guys had a great history in the region and were very much the family business. Four brothers and the old man all on site plugging away. They had a pretty good selection of wines too no less. And definitely the most extensive range of Durifs and Shiraz in the region, and some great fruity whites. So I bought a bottle of their Jess Sauv Blanc, a cleanskin Petit Verdot and a Cab Sauv. Their meal was a fantastic little Barbequed Kangaroo and mango chutney thing with a Sparkling Shiraz which went down a treat!

G Sunderland Smith and Sons were among the oldest and most reputable in the region. Also the most ramshakle, despite being one of the first winemakers in Australia to ever win an international award. They had their tastings in an old shed down a dirt road and it really could’ve been done with a bit more panache. Anyway their wines definitely weren’t a let down and that’s what matters.

Finally All Saints estate certainly was a great way to end the day. Their castle has a reception centre and both wine tastings and a cheese shop. So we finished off with a glass of their Chardonnay and a cheese plate. Nothing to fault here. Definitely the highlight of the day. The vino is definitely on par as well and I ended up taking home their exceptional Bordeaux red, simply named the Pierre.

Because it’s a decentralised festival, you do have to drive from one winery to the next. Though they’re not far apart and it’s all the more fun that way anyway. Every winery had free breath testing machines and tea and coffee for designated drivers. So it was very well prepared.

Just let it be said that Rutherglen is a 3 hour drive from Melbourne one way! So be prepared for 6 hours driving or book a Hotel room early. But most importantly get in there and enjoy. Well worth the drive up!

Web links

Rutherglen visitor info site - Details all the wineries in the regions, how to get there, accomodation, everything!

Thank you god. Was reading the You Am I forums today and it appears more or less official that the new album will be called ‘Convicts’ (not ‘The Old Heave Ho’ as Tim Rogers speculated last year). It sounds like it’s going to be an absolute friggin’ corker:

You Am I sign with EMI

Seven albums into the rock and roll career of the much loved You Am I, and EMI is incredibly excited to confirm the band have signed a deal that will see the new album from this great Australian rock band released in May on the Virgin label.

Titled ‘Convicts’, the album was recorded in sixteen days over a three month period in five studios. Produced by Greg Wales in Sydney during 2005, it is described by Rusty as “a little bit punk, a little bit psychedelic with a beating heart of pure energy”.

Andy Kent said, “Feels good brothers and sisters.”

Tim Rogers said, “I’m calling it a comeback. We’re back fools!…..or mmm, We’re back, we’re fools”.

John O’Donnell, Managing Director of EMI Music Australia said, “You Am I are one of the best Australian bands of all-time. Their body of work has left an indelible stamp on this country over the last decade and more – and they have influenced just about every artist of substance to have emerged since they started. But as Johnny Thunders once said ‘you can’t put your arms around a memory’ and we only signed You Am I because when we heard ‘Convicts’ we immediately knew it was amongst their best work ever. We’re humbled and proud to be working with You Am I.”

Tim Rogers (guitar, voice), Andy Kent (bass), Russell ‘Rusty’ Hopkinson (drums) and David Lane (guitar), have been awarded seven ARIAs, while three of their albums — 1995’s Hi Fi Way, 1996’s Hourly, Daily and 1998’s #4 Record — all debuted at #1 on the ARIA chart, and the band have toured internationally to great acclaim. Oasis’ Liam Gallagher was heard to comment that they were “so fookin’ good, I want to put ‘em on me mantlepiece”.

‘Convicts’ will be released on May 13, with the single ‘It Aint Funny How We Don’t Talk Anymore’ released digitally on April 11.

So bitches, get out there and spread the word! Let’s make this the biggest YAI release ever!

You won’t have to ask me twice to go to a girly show. Unfortunately, I neglected to check the details that this was a girly show, for girls, by girls in a really girly girl, gigly girly, friggin, pfft crap way.

In fairness, the last half hour of the show was pretty good. It was the first half that was well shitful.

And in closing OK, I am a male and an insatiable perv. 2 of the 3 girls are pretty sexy in the show. But for the life of me, the so called ‘town bikes’ , two gorgeous, nubile young sexy things, that dance in between the real act, were ten fold hotter than the main show. Then there was the stage hand girl. She was the most spectacular thing I have seen in quite some time. If they just had the town bikes and their stage hands slapping minges, I would’ve been the happiest man on earth. Oh well . . .

There were highlights. The cute Japanese chick. She did a cute little Kimono dance thing. There other hottie, with her nipples pierced did a fantastic dance with ropes and stilts. And there was a hilarious part with a dance to the song ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’.

That was in the last half though. The first act was average to say the least. And the cute Japanese chick did a raunchy thing were she throws a bunch of knickers out into the audience, without ever showing her minge. I felt as cheated as a fat bastard at ‘tofu appreciation night’.

Pfft, the girlfriend like it

These guys put on a stellar performance. Not knowing much about the band prior to this gig, they really know how to sell out a venue. It was absolutely packed, with a healthy mix of guys and gals.

Little did I know also that they’re about a 9 piece band, assuming they’re more of a free form group without the formality of say a 4 piece rock band. Later in the set a guitarist came out and did his best Chuck Berry impression (even the facial expressions) which really rocked out. Not one song went for the standard length. They all seemed to stretch out for about 10 mins!

What’s really amazing about these guys is that they really command attention. There’s two signers (one two plays tympani drums as well, the other a trumpter. They look like they’re brothers) constantly improvising. Anyway the keyboard player was relentless and didn’t stop all night. It was from one track straight to another. I gather they live for their improvisation spots in between songs, rather than the breather between them.

The tympani playing singer made a really cool comment though, that recorded studio music is a bit of a con, and that real music needs to be experienced live. He also said something about the ‘Empire starting as a band that played house parties. While I can really seeing rockin’ someone’s back yard, who has a house big enough!

In short, these guys could do anything, from Chuck Berry Rock and Roll to Afro Cuban Jazz to Miles Davies and James Morrison. They had one number that was like a bit a la Blues Brothers i’d never heard before (they said it was their next single) which totally rocked out. Totally not what I had expected from em, judging by the radio presence.

My only complaint was that the 18+ gig was on Friday, when your knackered after work, and the all ages was Saturday. There was no seating and I was absolutely knackered and aching by the end of it (yes I am that old!). ON the geriatric note, this was also the LOUDEST gig I have ever been to. Despite years of listening to Metal, it was mostly the crowd cheering that made it so fucking loud. But the volume was beyond words.

I can’t say I completely love this band, it’s just not completely my thing. But man, what I wouldn’t do to have them play my house party. They can get a crowd to go right off.

In their first Melbourne show, Wayne and the boys took to the stage and for the first four songs, commanded absolute attention from everyone in the room. It was a pretty decent show, probably not as tight as their Geelong shows but pretty good.

The boys were showing bits of inspiration ranging from the Revolting Cocks, the Melvins and Sonic Youth. Wish they could loosen up a bit though and talk more between songs etc. A bit more flirtation with the audience would’ve been more lively and is always the marque of a confident, well travelled band. Overall the sound is very rockin’, cut back and dark like the Melvins with some quality riffage.

Was a bit sad that the boys had to go first to two bands that were very straightedge pop and mainstream bands. They looked and sounded like they could play a high school prom gig on some paltry US TV drama like the OC. Whereas The Convulsions were riffin’ like it was Ding Dong or CBGBs. They were giving Convulsions bass player Dave shit for his “double distortion” bass riffery. Little did they realise they had a five piece and didn’t sound anywhere near as good as The Convulsions as a 3 piece. Thems the breaks though I spose, they are still starting out and any gig you can get outside of your hometown is a good gig.

I look forward to seeing them develop more in their upcoming gigs. Well worth checking out.

What can you say about the inimitable Steven Wright. The guy put in a stellar performance.

His support act Akmal Saleh desperately needs some new material. We saw his show the week before and he basically regurgitated the whole thing and not in a ‘it’s funny a second time!’ way but in a cringe with disgust as his jokes get more and more irrelevant with repeat performance.

Back to the main man. He was on stage for what felt like two hours. You could tell when he started ad libbed by a change in story telling tempo, but for the most part he was ‘the man’, pulling out king one liners like ‘the earth is bipolar’ and ‘I am going to get an MRI done to see if I am claustrophobic’ in his own dead pan way. He picked up the guitar to keep it interesting every now and them.

There was elements of Hunter S Thompson in the performance as he prattles on about ‘fear and loathing in . . .’ style gags. One such example taking LSD in a softball match: a plane crashes on the field and he’s trying to catch it in his mitt!

This gig was about $68 a ticket but everything was top notch. One’s things for certain who would’ve known anyone with a Masters in psychology, and a penchant for drug induced lateral thinking could be so funny. Like most of his skit subjects, he had me in tears!

My god how mundane the motorshow was this year! By and large every manufacturer felt a bit like they were offering reheated leftovers from last year. All the concepts of the past 5 years were here in the flesh as ready-to-order hotties. As one particular driver said “It wasn’t a motorshow, it was more like the Woolie’s [shopping centre] car park”.

One highlight was the absolute dregs of humanity, with barely a unique chromosome (or tooth) between them, gawking at the Maybach. You would not believe how much admiration for a fully reclining rear seat. It was almost as if the Maybach was only there as an idiot deterrent to the BMW stand. And by god was it effective.

Was lucky to have a sit in a Peugeot 206 GTI 180 and man what a snug fitting glove. It was good to get the chance to experience the French mark in the flesh. The 180 is the epitome of the drivers’ car rocket ship that you so rarely get these days. Nothing remarkable you couldn’t find at your dealer but meh.

Of all the prestige cars on display, it’s remarkable that even the biturbo V12 AMG CLK roadster and the Jaguar XJ have plastic door handles!? You’d think for $200K + you’d get chrome!

All that glittered that actually impressed me was the Range Rover stand. Their rides REALLY looked impressive with supercharged sports versions this year on big 19″ rims. Good to see the Brits getting with the times.

There was some interesting local product though. Some Perth company that make superchargers had an awesome Magna AWD package for around $50K. It looked like the ultimate sleeper.

Two concept cars that at least filled the bright, shiny object void were the Ford GT and the Honda pseudo NSX called the Honda Sports Concept (HSC). The big Ford really was a player and looked equally impressive on the rotisserie as it does on paper. ANd we can only hope and pray the Honda makes it into production, as it really stepped up to the plate in taking the more sedate NSX into exotic supercar territory. Not that the NSX looked bad but the doors on this thing and the cut of its jib have to be seen to be believed.

Toyota were so desperate, they send out monkami people movers from Japan, showing the latest concepts in invalid care. Surely there’s a more appropriate trade show for this . . .

Naturally there were Ferarri’s and Fords but sadly not a lot else worth mentioning. To make it really obvious this show was for the kids and not the ‘big boys’ was even the Victoria Police had a stand. It’s great to know that the speed camera money is going into even faster cars for the cops, and not something useful, like you know, hospitals or health care. You know useful stuff.

Sorry guys, this years show was a fizzer. If I wanna see invalid vans and human gene pool dregs, i’ll go to a chemist in Cranbourne. Thank god I didn’t have to pay to get in.

** Powderfinger live at Festival Hall, Melbourne 28/01/05. **

How much can a band suck? Well my son this is highly dependent on the ticket price. For give or take $70, in the sweat box ‘festy hall’ NOT Melbourne’s most avant garde venue, the ‘Finger are already pushing my buttons.

Continuing the moan fest, these tix were bought about Octoberish last year. That’s a long time in advance. Most of my mates laughed and said “i’ve paid a lot less than that to see Powderfinger!” and I know they’re right. It was part out of my girlfriend’s moan that an Aussie band wasn’t ‘worth it’ that I forked out the cash. Sucks to be me? You betchya.

By this stage good old Bernard was asking a lot and I felt well bent over. Well they were on at 9.15 and off by 11.15. A two hour set, so not too bad, but I thought it was only England that had gigs that finished before Cinderella turns back into a pauper hag. Apparently Bernard Fanning turns back into a Brisbane dole bludger by midnight as well because come quarter past, the house lights were on, NO ENCORE and the ‘Finger had fucked off like Trump’s wife as soon as his boxers came off.

So i’m feeling bloody rheamed with my pants on holding my bloody girlfriends hand and I am trying desperately to be impressed. Bernard was laconic. The two guitarists were doing their best Joe Perry impersonations with solid, stable US stadium rock. They had some screen behind them at times with the lyrics like i’d paid $70 to drink warm beer and watch Fanning sing karaoke.

Some people would’ve said they did a solid two hours, and they belted out all the radio hits. I would say I saw a rigid set, played by frigid musos too scared to improvise their way out of the set list now they’re played on commerical radio. The brilliant backup singers probably stopped the need for Bernie to sing with an autotune and have the pitch and fullness of the studio albums. How bloody lovely. How abouts a bit of spontinaeity or even bloody serendipidy?

Thanks for a set that started somewhere and took me nowhere. I thought I could be persuaded but what a soft on of a gig. Back to Tim Rogers and the Temperance Union I go.