The world adores matt hayward

If you’re like me you don’t like snow domes and kitschy spoons as souveneirs. You’d rather bring back something genuinely local from that place, like a CD, even if it’s never listened to. So what a surprise when it turns out to be pretty listenable.

Hladno Pivo is Croatian for ‘cold beer‘. Like a lot of punkers, they’ve come from rock bottom (paricularly in the post war years) to doing pretty well for themselves. This 2006 CD ‘Knjiga Zalbe’ looks like no expense was spared in its packaging or production. So resting on their laurels a bit, this is not hard core skater punk, it’s a lot more polished than that.

What Hladno Pivo are all about now is a more pop-punk tinged with blue collar acoustic ballads. Imagine Jimmy Barnes as a Croatian drunk and not a Scottish drunk. There’s a lot of pop punk riffage, and even the odd death metal departure. Bioloski sat even has some electric blues harp. Fortunately, it’s all cohesive and all sounds pretty good. If these guys weren’t so good, it would sound a lot worse. Although you can imagine a bunch of dissapointed Croat punkers longing for the old straight up punk stuff.

And no I can’t understand a single word of Croatian. But this is still bloody enjoyable! And let’s face it you can’t get more punk rock than calling your band cold beer.

On a completely separate note, the CD packaging itself mocks a Soviet complaint book. These are a communist artifact still mandatory in pubs and clubs in Croatia. Basically the owner of the place has his complaint book reviewed by the government at the end of the year and pays a fine according to the condition of his book. So despite looking very posh, this cover is the ultimate in punk rock, as each page is a complaint about a member of the band!

Was going through the photos of the Croatia trip and realised that we left out Pula. Pula is in Istria, north western Croatia, bordering on Slovenia. It’s a cute harbor city that has the sixth largest Roman Colosseum in the world - and a sight to behold at that.  Especially the bay views through the Colosseum wall arches. This Colosseum was a far better experience that the world famous Roman one. It’s in much better shape and is still used today as a concert venue.

Aside from the Colosseum, there’s a great archeology museum and a cosmopolitan city. Pula feels like there are a few more cultures represented and feels somewhat more assimilated than other cities. If you’re planning a trip, you could probably do Pula in a day or two. It’s a blindingly good drive from Opatija too! Heaps of twisty mountain roads for the more adventurous driver.

Why would I go there?
Something for everyone and by European standards, it’s still quite cheap. But really it’s because of the untouched beauty. It may seem like they haven’t built anything in 50 years, but the place is just manifest with great beaches, diving, pristine water, you name it. Hvar and Zadar are the places for parties. But we went in shoulder season when it’s absolutely dead!

For nerdy types, there’s plenty of archaeology, roman ruins, museums, churches, art, culture. Most towns, especially Hvar, Rovinj and Korcula are very big on art too.

What’s the weather like?
Bloody hot actually. You will get burnt in the sun. Those of you from Australia will know that other countries can get hot, but you don’t get sunburnt. You will in Croatia, so take care.

How much money do you need?
Including B&B accomodation perhaps 600 to 800 Kuna (say $150-200 AUD) per day if you’re travelling as a couple. More if you’re drinking! Less if you’re staying in backpackers.

A decent restaurant lunch with beer for two would cost well under 200 Kuna (approx $45). Dinner a little more, maybe 250 Kuna. If you went to a supermarket and bought some sandwich meat, bread rolls and fruit, you may spend about 60 Kuna ($15 AUD).

A slice of pizza (you can get that anywhere) and a drink would be about 20 Kuna. You will tire of pizza very quickly. In Zagreb, you can get a quarter of a pizza for 9 Kuna from the bakeries! Very tasty!

Spirits and mixed drinks are a bit more expensive. Perhaps 30 Kuna a drink.

Is it worth renting a car?
Definitely. But it’s left hand drive. So if you haven’t driven LHD cars before and you don’t have a travelling companion don’t! You definitely need a navigator and someone to help keep your wits about you, otherwise it will make your holiday very, very stressful.

With Economy Car Rentals, we were about to get a reasonably decent size hatchback for around $60 AUD a day fully insured. They were by far the cheapest and we have no complaints.

Petrol costs around $2 AUD a litre. All the highways have lofty tolls as well. Which are well and truly justified by the smooth 130 KPH speed limits.

What’s it like driving there?
Croatians are excellent, courteous drivers - compared to the Italians! Be mindful that the highways are quite new, and if you intend to go inland, to Bosnia, or especially Montenegro, it will cost you more money. Mainly because the roads are skinny as hell and very poorly surfaced indeed. Stick to the main roads and highways within Croatia and you should be right.

What about scooters and motorbikes?
Highly recommended and a great way to get around the beach towns. Highlight of our trip was spending a day on a scooter in Korcula and finding beaches all to ourselves!

50CC scooters are everywhere in Split, Hvar, Korcula and Rovinj and all beachy places. It costs about 150 Kuna a day ($40 AUD?). If you want a four stroke 125CC scooter or bigger, you will need a motorcycle licence. There’s not much on offer in between.

Escpecially in Hvar, we noticed plenty of bikers ride in from as far away as Sarajevo. Roads are very bike friendly!

Any places to avoid?
Rijeka is a bit of an industrial town you may have to drive through. If you’re only interested in beaches, partying and cruisy resorts, stay between Split and Dubrovnik. Because it’s a lot colder up north.

Sadly Zagreb was a bit of a dissapointment. I wouldn’t say don’t go there, but I wouldn’t recommend it either. It’s a bit beige.

More to come as I think of it. If you have any questions about the place, let me know and i’ll see if I can cover it here!

As my travelling companion just crudely retorted, no im not the slightest bit interested in footy at home - PERIOD. When im overseas however, it pulls on my little ocker heart strings.

Yesterday wamdering around the Croatian capital of Zagreb we found an expat pub called the Old Pharmacy Pub. We popped into check it out and they had what appeared to be something from the Hawthorn Hawks footy team on the walls. Au Contraire. It was the Zagreb Hawks footy team, playing in the local Aussie Rules leagues.

Locals would be handy at the game too. They come in two sizes. Five foot five and stocky, or big and built like a brick supermarket. Chuck in a crazy war vet and I reckon youd have a quality game of footy id happilly watch. Not like that contrived crap they syndicate at home.

As the trip nears to an end, we find ourselves in the Croatian capital of Zagreb. It’s the kind of city that you get when you have a communist hangover but you’re rapidly getting drunk from a big cask of cheap capitalist fruity wine at the same time. In other words, it’s quickly gentrifying. It feels like in ten years time, it will be a completely different, totally repainted city. But there’s still plenty of sleaze and grey to go around.

Theres many great things to say about Zagreb though. The shopping is pretty good, evident in the women who are really fashionable and evidently good looking. There seems to be a bit of nightlife (too knackered at the end of a day of walking to find out). My traveling companion has had no trouble finding good fashion. For me, i’ve found some awesome music stores here - even some hard core metal.

Guide books tell you that there are some expensive restaurants here even by London standards. Sadly we’ve had our fill. Nothing to report on there. The food we have tried is good, heaps of truffles around too, but nothing to write home about.

On the bizarre side, every day at noon, they fire a canon out of a tower window so people can set their watches to it! It’s just kinda done out of wacky tradition now, but hey, so is the English royal family!

Again the public transport makes rally drivers look soft. They have these 3 carriage blue trams that roar along at thrice as fast as those in Melbourne. I was almost ran over by one today just walking down the street. Just like that kid Screech, I was saved by the bell.

For the artisans, theres plenty of museums and galleries. Some bona fide masterpieces too with paintings from Renoir and Manet. But for the love of god, if I see one more fifteenth century gold painting of Jesus or the Virgin Mary, bah! Unlike Split (Diocletian who retired there was a Pagan), its ALL Christian stuff. Hundreds of paintings and paraphernalia. I saw one Pagan cup in the Museum Omimara today. And by default, it was a highlight.

A highlight of Zagreb is 20th century sculptor MeÅ¡htrovič’s (Mesh-tro-vish) home. We saw his humble mansion in Split too, but his home in Zagreb just defies all superlatives. Until I found out about this bloke, I thought sculptors were frankly a bit soft. MeÅ¡htrovič has changed that forever. He designed this house, made most of the furniture in it, and even designed the al-fresco mural one of the ceilings (he had to call in a mate to actually paint it though). He was a bona fide architect, artist, painter, sculptor and for all intents must have been a bloody good engineer. All this from a bloke that in Vienna couldn’t get his degree because he never even attended elementary school.

Zagreb is a bit of a surprise. Certainly not the cleanest or best culinary experience of the trip, but worth visiting for a few days. I just hope you like museums. But you’re probably better off sticking to the beaches.

For the past 1500 kilometres, ive been schlepping a Seat Ibiza from Central Croatia (Split) to the Istrian coast in the north. It’s been a heady mix of hair pins and B roads to autobahn style freeways with very liberal speed limits. Cut a long story short, it really is a bit meat and three veg.

What you can definitely say about the Seat it is a well built car. The panel fit is superb. Inside the quality of fabrics and plastics never fails to impress. For those long journeys, the roof is high and seating position near perfect. So there is some quality and purposeful design at work here. Frankly miles more comfortable on the highway to drive than the old BA Falcon I had.

As lame as it may sound, the mirror placement in the car is perfect. And that’s important at some of the speeds we’ve been doing to keep up with well heeled Croats on the highways. A trivial accolate, but what the hey!

When it comes to safety and features though, the car is sadly lacking. No traction control (though it really doesn’t need it) or stability control. While it doesn’t have many buttons and knobs, there are no filled in holes in the dash where the buttons on more luxurious models would go. It makes you wonder whether they even thought of those little luxuries, even more than one cup holder, at all. Clearly not.

To drive, the Volkswagen sourced 1.4 four has a lot of poke in the middle to upper range. Down low, you cant hear it rev below 2000 revs. Which for me is really hard to get used to. Overtaking becomes quite irritating as just when you reach peak power, the rev limiter kicks in like the fun police at a brothel. And you find yourself desperately trying to maintain revs, shifting to a higher gear.

Given the engine size, no surprises here. But it beckons for some Honda VTEC style wizardry to wring out some extra power when you really want it. Not surprisingly with all that revving, I only got about 350 kilometres per tank.

Basically, it’s geared for driving around town and the occasional back road belt. It’s willing enough to perform on a challenging road, but it’s not luxurious or sporty in its tune, firm but not quite boring.

Its on the autobahns that the cars shortcomings become transparent. While it’s fun to biff about in around town, its engine becomes quite noisy at speed and it desperately needs a sixth gear. Because it maintains cruising speeds at very high revs. Sadly this could be very comfortable car on the highway, but for the sake of cost isn’t.

In essence this car doesn’t rival the Japanese (Honda Jazz or Civic Coupe) or the Germans (A Golf - although im told the Ibiza is based on a VW Golf) for class leading performance. But is it a bad car? No. Is it boring to drive? Absolutely not? Is it interesting? Well i doesn’t possess the loveable quirkiness of an old school Citroen but it’s definitely not Korean.

What the Ibiza really is, is the mild sauce in a peri peri chili restaurant. It’s for the shy, but definitely not the meek and ungainly. Given the choice i’d probably drive something Japanese or Italian. Will it be a forgettable experience though? Never.

Well here we are again. Another travel blog update. Rovinj is the city of artists on the Istrian coast. Istria is in the far north east of Croatia and was once a part of Italy, and until last century a big part of Austria’s economy.

Istria and Rovinj is absolutely gorgeous, except for the fact that were in an internet cafe listening to Bobby Brown. Music sadly doesn’t have the same life cycle that it does at home. In other words, crap music lives forever in Croatia. Only down side is that the ocean water is nowhere near as clear as it is down south in Hvar and Korčula. Nor do the locals speak as much English. So much so that if you come to Rovinj, its like getting a free stop over in Germany because there are so many German tourists here.

Rovinj would have to be a highlight of the trip so far. Because it has an old city (no city walls though), so much art and charm in abundance. Like down south, there are plenty of ferries to catch to little islands and stuff. But we’ve well and truly had our fill of that. And the weather has been a little more than average sadly for boating expeditions. Oh and truffles are incredibly cheap in restaurants up here. We had spaghetti and truffles for about $17 AUD. Awesome!

Speaking of good food, we’ve just come out of Monte’s, a restaurant not in any of the travel guides. We’ve had an incredibly sumptuous five course meal on par with View Du Monde in Melbourne with wine for approx $200 AUD. In many respects probably better than local fare through the creativity in dishes and quality of produce. If you end up this far north in Croatia, make sure you save your pennies for Monte’s. The food is much better up north and its far more of a Italian/Euro vibe here than in Dubrovnik and Hvar down south.

At this stage its worth noting that northern Croatia would be pretty inaccessible without a car. Its not cheap (petrol is roughly $2 a litre here) but it’s very so worth it. Especially the quaint little village of Vodnjan was worth the rental of the car alone. Its a little inland village that for all intents hasn’t changed in a 100 years. Not a hit of a fast food joint or chain coffee store anywhere. The antithesis of a tourist town! At the very least, it’s a taste of how Croats truly live in ancient little villages.

The real highlight of Vodnjan is the bizarre experience of seeing 6 sainted mummies in a Church in Vodnjan. One of these mummies was about 600 years old but still has elastic skin. Very, very very, freaky to see. They wouldn’t let you take photos. But we had these postcards that looked like they were from the cover of a Bloodduster CD. Easily the most freaky and macarbe experience of the trip.

Equally macabre was seeing the land mine warning signs on the side of the road to Politviće National Park. A grim reminder that war in that national park only really finished circa 1996. Sadly it was raining cats and dogs and we didn’t get to see the park. But it sure was an experience getting there. Should hopefully get back there this week.

Next update will probably be in Zagreb, the Croatian capital. Until then, rock out with yer cock out! I know I will!

Good news. Weve just got ourselves a Seat Ibiza rental car to drive around in. But the real revelation is that driving in Croatia is like having Keith Moon as a personal chauffeur: spontaneous, fun, but genuinely terrifying.

Its good news because until this point, its been a relentless melee of crack of dawn ferries, jetlag and countless steps to the top of every Dalmatian hill - of which believe me there are several. Even if every street corner here had a lard coated Krispy Kreme store, it wouldn’t make a lick of difference to the locals’ waist lines. The locals walk up more steps in a day than you’ve had hot dinners. It’s an old town thing and it gives everyone a view. So that old addage about women in comfortable shoes is not true here. You do a lot of uphill walking!

Dubrovnik was worth the price of admission alone. The bus drivers make Fangio look a bit soft getting to the old town, but when you walk the city walls, it’s all worth it. Just a stellar view. It’s a fifteenth century walled town, but unlike other Dalmatian cities, each and every stone has been polished. It’s a real site to behold at night.

Rest assured if these walls make the place sound like a fortress, two bars permiate the walls Buža (as in boozer) I and Buža II. You literally can buy a drink and then sit with your feet in the Adriatic and watch the sun go down. Go for a swim even! And just sit back and trip over the view and those grand old city walls staring back at you.

All the tourist books say you can do Dubrovnik’s old town in a day. Well I could do Jessica Alba in a day, but I definitely make her breakfast in the morning. Dubrovnik and Jessica at least share this honour. Nuff said. Walking the city walls would take at least 4-6 hours. So at a bare minimum, do that.

If you come, about four days in Dubrovnik would do you nicely. The old town is an electic delight of relics, restaurants, modern shops and galleries. The restaurants are highly bearable (sorry no truly breathtaking, Epicurian delights to be found here), even enjoyable. If you like simply wandering around and taking it all in, you could easily spend a few days just doing that. Then a few more days exploring the local islands.

Out of the old town, it’s pretty business as usual, sleazy everyday life. Especially in the new port. So you only really need to go there for many of the ferries. One trip well worth spending a few Kunas catching a ferry to the Paklieni islands. Particularly Å ipan which is so old school, it looks like Sicily in The Godfather movies. Ferries to the islands are available for pennies and make for a great day out. We also caught a catamaran to the island of Miljet, which is a full days trek to say the least. More about that later.

Right now were in Split. It’s about half way up the Dalmatian coast and a big city. Kind of like Geelong with a healthy dash of proscutto and garlic. I say that because the local grub is a tad derivative and Italian inspired. Weve managed to avoid shopping so far, but its caught up with us here with a vengance.

Split has all this Diocletian castley stuff, gothic ruins, bits of columns, all that bollocks. Frankly its more underwhelming than I expected. But its fun. The new parts of Split are very, very cruisey and slick. Kind of more like youd think Scandinadia would be. Being a big town, the shopping is pretty darn good. I even managed to find a Motorhead CD!

Eating in Split was far more a cultural experience than the Diocletian ruins. Buffet Fife just out of town is a place where sailors, international bogans and locals alike can indulge. Casting aside the bog standard black squid risottos and pizzas, Fife offers goulash, Dalmatian meatballs and game meat and guaranteed enlightenment from the locals and fellow tourists you dine with. A gastonomic highlight so far.

Next were off to the Politviće national park on the mainland, and a seven day jaunt in the Seat. So expect a full update and a road test. How I wish Keith Moon was still around for this journey. . .

Well so far the holiday has been friggin’ awesome. But Korčula seems a bit like a Portsea or a Sorrento back home. A very affluent small beach town, and they dont give a rats’ arse (I cant find the apostrophe on this Croatian keyboard!). Fortunately after the first day, our stay improved tremendously and I really warmed up to the place. Our B&B hosts were brilliant, and let us sample the local grappa and a really great red.

One thing you simply have to do in your life, let alone Korčula, is rent a scooter and ride around the island. It’s a true La Dolce Vita experience! Korčula can very easily afford you a beach to yourself for the entire afternoon! I hadn’t ridden a motorbike before but the roads are both picturesque and very easy going. The water of the Adriatic, as always, clearer than a nuns conscience on Sunday.

The old town itself is quite small and you could probably do it in a few hours, let alone days. Aside from a few art galleries, especially the Atelier Gallery in the old town, meh its a bit average.

One thing to definitely AVOID is Marco Polo’s house. Firstly it probably has about as much to do with the great explorer as my undies. We found a dilapidated shack down the road with a plaque that looked like it was his real home. Secondly, you pay 15 Kuna to walk up a rikety staircase designed for midgets, that is one corpulent American tourist away from total collapse. Once you get up there, it’s an OK view, but not worth the life and limb getting there. If ever there was a need for a door bitch, it’s right here. You know, keeping the numbers to at least 50 at a time on a stair case clearly designed for half a 15th century midget at a time. But hey! These experiences are what travel is all about…

Food is unfortunately nothing worth blogging about. Despite the initially luke warm locals, it’s a bloody great place to spend a few days. Just not too much more than that.

Next stop Hvar.

Lo and behold, Hvar must the be the only true pirate down of the Dalmatian coast. Because before they came, it probably had some beige name like Port Berkshire or something. But pirates mandate rolling Rs, so Hvarrrrrr it is!

All your Lovely Planet guide books describe Hvar as party heaven. In summer it may well be. But were walking past empty bars playing Tina Turner tracks to the dulcet tones of cicadas chirping into the night. So theres no better time to be there than now. Unless your single and grinding your teeth through the week until the next rave, choking on disco biscuits and crap dance tracks.

Hvar also connects to Bol, a tick on flies arse island that just happens to have the most postcard friendly beach in the world Zlatni Rat. Its a proper pebbly Euro beach, but what a beach. Not a surf beach by any stretch of the imagination, but no one comes here for that. If you want to pull up a glass of beer and a sun bed by the crystal clear Adriatic and do N-O-T-H-I-N-G for a week, just come here. It’s the dogs bollocks.

Not quite as wicked as Zlatni Rat is Pak Mižana. A beach all the locals go to. Yours for a ten buck ferry ride.

Its worth mentioning that Hvar is very millionaire yacht and resort friendly. There are plenty of Melbourne standard high class funky bars, a great old town, and an awesome castle to see. Despite all that, its cheaper than Dubrovnik and we found an excellent B&B for 30 Euros a night for a double.

Dead set, Hvar would be packed in summer. But right now at its chilled finest. A definite highlight of the journey so far.