A cheap and cheerful wine fridge.

Been collecting wine for a while? In the market for a wine fridge? Well there’s a few things you should think about first. A friend asked me the other day and I’m by no means an expert, but I thought I’d share my experience with a wider audience .

Firstly wine fridges are cool. They tell your mother in law exactly what your priorities are in life. Strangely, any Masterchef watching wannabe foodie suddenly goes quiet on the topic of wine, shockingly in awe of your amateurish wine snob diligence. They’re known to stop in their tracks at the site of the fridge!

But should you get a wine fridge or stick to racks. I’d say don’t bother unless you’re going to keep your wine for at least 2-3 years. Because you really need to take your bottles out the day you want to drink them and stand them upright to let it warm up. This also lets the sediment settle if it’s really old. If you take it out of the fridge and start drinking, it will taste frigid, cold and ruddy awful. And then, all your efforts were in vain. You’d be better off putting them in a room in your house that’s never heated or at a constant temp and putting boxes over it to block the light. As much as I’ve had some great wine thanks to the fridge, I’ve had some spontaneous awful ones as well that were an absolute waste.

My wine fridge was from Aldi and cost approx $250 AUD. It holds approx 45 standard bottles. Sometimes chain stores such as Target and K Mart have similar offerings. The important thing to remember is that the cheap ones (like mine or under $500) are refrigerated units. This is bad because they have a fridge motor and it vibrates. Vibration is bad for wine. Not as bad as light and varying temperature but still not totally kosher. You wont often even hear the motor in winter but you hear the characteristic buzz often in summer.

The reason I got my fridge is because my wine had to be stored near a heater or even worse, in the kitchen. Any constant variance in temperature (say more than 6-8 degrees a day and you’re not cellaring your wine, you’re slowly  creating vinegar. It may be OK for a year or even two, but it’s clearly only for a good time not a long time.

Your cheaper fridge will also be very plasticy with metal shelves. They’re fairly robust but they tend to cripple under the load when the fridge is full. So the fridges with wood shelves not only look better, they are more strong and durable.

Also humidity is important for cellaring wine. Your proper fridges will do something to keep the requisite level of humidity in the fridge, like humidors for cigars. The cheaper ones don’t. So it’s not the total solution and you’re not guaranteed great wine.

In an ideal world, you’d probably need to spend about $500-800 on a good fridge, as it wouldn’t vibrate and be at a constant temperature. The more expensive ones also have wooden shelves which are a lot better when you load it up.

David Jones and Harvey Norman have a great range of fridges including the uber expensive Liebherr ones.  These have features such as separate zones for your whites/sparklings/reds and swisho wood or brushed aluminum finishes. If you can afford one of these, there’s no point reading this article!

Anyways buying a fridge is an important, but not altogether necesary step. There are plenty of wine forums where people with space and spare time have found much cheaper, resourceful and grandiose solutions. All I can say is don’t throw out your racks. Use those for your quaffers and keep the good stuff put down in the fridge. Remember, patience is a virtue and one day I will have the 300 bottle Liebherr fridge!

If you have any questions, I’d be happy to respond. Again, I’m no expert but happy to help.

Well as far as tapas goes, it’s nothing remarkable. I do agree with Epicure that the charcuterie and cheese boards are kind of cool. Movidas though has real personality in the tapas dishes that Sotano just doesn’t have. Strangely you must have to ask for some phone book wine list. Because on the menu there’s only wine by the glass despite two massive elevated walk in wine fridges over the bar. Those are well worth a guided tour from the somellier. Highly recommended.

All in all after 9pm, the service really, really sucks. The beautiful staff with their very thuper thexy hair styles look busy you’d have more luck getting a drink in a nunnery. By this time, the ‘classic Hilton burger’ is really starting to look like an option over waiting for another round of Sangria and tiny tapas.

If you’re a bright, shiny objects person, this place is new, immersive and very now. Moreover if you think the Docklands is just fantastic then this place is made for you. I am neither and I will be more focused when picking blindly from the Epicure again. In this case they didn’t even wait till the restaurant was built before they reviewed it!

I put it to the average ‘long in the leg, thick in the head Aussie’ that you are the world’s most unmitigated wine snob. You buy all your wine from the one shop (Dan Murphys). For those of you who came in late or are not Aussies, Dan Murphys is a booze supermarket, like a Wal Mart dedicated to everything alcoholic. Good to save a few bucks, but just like Wal Mart, you save a bundle on somethings and get totally ripped off. Worse than that, you’re not getting any story behind the wine, you hardly ever meet the makers and you’re served by some spotty git that only knows what’s good because the manager always knicks it. Their ‘cellar’ is an industrial warehouse the size of Belgium and that’s about it. There’s no guy with a beard that could tell you everything from the etymology of the name of the terroir of the soil.

Secondly, all your information comes from at best two sources, Jeremy Oliver (no not the celebrity chef) and some bloke Halliday. Have you read these books? I have read the later in detail. He tastes about 4000 wines a year and can often take the piss if you read enough of it. My problem with these books is it’s like calling and insurance company for a quote for fully comprehensive on your car. ‘what’s the make and model?’, ‘an 86 Camira sedan’. ‘OK your insurance will be $500′, ‘OK. It’s that arbitrary. So they’ve made finding fine wine like getting a quote on your car insurance. It’s just statistics. I put it to you that that’s not a journey, it’s a destination. And it’s bloody boring. I did not get into wine to learn better maths. Ever been to a proper wine tasting not just to get pissed, but to get a different opinion or learn something? Probably not. Ever been to a cellar door? In the truest sense unlikely.

Thirdly, go to your local Dan Murphys. Pick up a ten dollar bottle of French plonk and you’re looked at as some ‘un ooostraayalan’ wine terrorist. The only exception being a bottle of Sauv Blanc from New Zealand for the ladies. God forbid you look at a brilliant Argentinian drop, a brilliant Croatian Chardonnay or a South African Rose. It’s like slapping Don Bradman in the face. Just buy your Shiraz rated at 96 points (sadly there are quite a few rated so highly) and get back in your Commodore, off to your football club barby.

Frankly, I envy the British like Clarkson. They’re in a position where they have ample old world wine. They also have brilliant wine from the Americas, Africas and Oceania and will pick the best for a price range. But there’s no tall poppy syndrome when it comes to the continent it’s from. They have no real domestic wine and the whole world is your oyster. It appears to be about what’s good and what’s reasonably priced. God forbid Australians should ever be so open minded.

Finally, sure snobs of any kind suck. But give me the informed, erudite snob with a story to tell any day that I could learn something from than some Barry McKenzie wanna be fuckwit that thinks just because people are ill informed enough to spend $450 on a bottle of Penfolds Grange, everything Australian is great thank you very much. Sadly, trophy wines like Penfolds that satisfy a demographic and not a palette are doing a great deal of damage to our international reputation. If the Average Barry Humphries Aussie took a blind taste test, he or she would probably find that even South American wine is blinding more interesting than the staid old Aussie Shiraz.

My conclusion is this. If you only drink an Aussie Shiraz and bugger the rest of the world, stick to beer. You’re being the wine snob you think you’re not being. Oh the irony. And I’d rather hear someone tell me some scintillating wine bogus adventure than the latest 5000 wines that Halliday has tasted between soires.

Please for the love of god telling me how great Aussie wine is when you’re too scared to try anything else. If that was the case, I’d still be listening to New Kids on the Block for music. Wine continues to amaze me because you can never try everything. You could never know everything about it. You can’t possibly try everything. That should be a good thing, not a bad thing! Stop being so stuck up and put some imagination into your drinking Australia. You bore me!

Wouldn’t you know it, booze is pretty cheap in Peru. A bottle of local rum is about 15 Soles ($5 AUD), Johnny Walker Red 30 Soles ($10) and black label for well under $30 AUD. Even in department stores, they had better prices! So logically wouldn’t you think that the duty free shop would be even cheaper? Not by a long shot. Because these prices aren’t for Joe Gringo. Prices at the duty free airport for a bottle of Johnny Black were about the same as they’d be in Dan Murphys at home. Full retail price!

Naturally this is all a bit of a rort and sadly given that I’m not that well traveled, I’m really curious to see if you’ve com!e across anything similar in your travels. Please leave comments and let me know. Otherwise, if you’re off to Peru, enjoy the cheap booze and leave some space in your suitcase!

You could start with the kitschy Chinese decorations, or the faux rustic brick wall on the boucany. Or even go as far as saying $12 for 3 satay skewers is beyond ridiculous. But it’s the lack of service which is truly exceptional. While there are some Asian staff hidden away from sight in the kitchen, the staff here look about as Asian as the token white guy in a Kung Fu movie. Better still, a ham sandwich.

Now an Asian beer garden should have Asian beer. Well think again. They only had Kirin First Press on tap and I couldn’t see any others bottled (well maybe Chang). No Tsing Tao, Asahi or especially my favourite Japanese micro brews.

I can’t personally vouch for the quality of my $21 chicken curry though. Because it never came. The kitchen must’ve loved it so much they took it to the framers. Those that did eat, got their meals 5 minutes before their rice came. When I finally cancelled the meal, about the time my mates were finishing theirs, there was no apology from the head waiter. He was ran off his feet attending a half full restaurant.

If you like a cultural experience devoid of any culture, service without food, over inflated prices and Asians that look like Ginger Meggs, all washed down with $8 tap beer, Cho Gao is the go. Otherwise a lobotomy might be a less painful experience. There are plenty of great, well established Asian bars in Melbourne: Robot, Double Happiness, you name it. This place just puts the Asian in cauc-asian and looks as if it would probably melt in the sun – no doubt before your meal arrives. Avoid.

Make no mistake this is not a trendy wine. For a start it’s from the Murray Valley region, not some glitzy South Australian region. It’s also worth saying that despite the five gold medals on the label (not like the bottle pictured), it cost less than twenty bucks in a corner store. What it was, from this winery and in this vintage, was a sensation.

This verdot, with five years in the bottle, had been aged properly and had lost its harsh tannins. It had a very luxurious fruit/acid balance, with a subtle tinge of cranberry that suits roasted turkey. Mouth finish was viscous and bang on perfect.

If you’re wondering why you haven’t seen verdot anywhere it’s simple. It’s not cool. It’s been an anonymous blender in Bordeaux blends since Adam was a boy and the vine looks like brambles in full bloom. When most wine makers will only mix about 4% of petit verdot with a Shiraz or something red, you get the idea how hard it is to make 100% of it taste great.

So my advice to you is this. If you see a 2002 Trentham Estates verdot, just buy it and drink it now. Don’t go pass go, don’t collect $200. Just get the corkscrew and a nice looking woman. After the requisite five years it’s sublime. You won’t find one. But if you see a 2004 or 2005, I reckon it would actually be better.

If you drink it before hand, it will be a bit more gruff and in your face. But if you’re patient it will royally award you with something very special at a very bargain basement price.

For better or for worse, when Cam and the Eat It boys resumed their awesome Sunday show, the Plonk boys lost their gig. RRR couldn’t find any air time for them. But they did think there was enough merit in doing a podcast – thank god!

This is a one hour show and it looks like it will be a monthly podcast. Production quality is a bit naff, but the content is all great stuff. Three panelists talking all aspects of viticulture, tasting, the wine glut, vintages, regions, varietals, food matchings, you name it. The favourite is WWWW, or Wanky Wine Word of the Week! Each week they endeavour to demystify a new listeners wanky vinofile term.

If you don’t know RRR, trust me this is cool community radio. So think young, laid back, totally non commercial and funky. Not old men with overalls and beards talking about things they found in their shed. Well worth a listen. Subscribe to the plonk podcast, or listen to the first episode.

Wrattonbully is a region not far from Coonawarra in South Australia. No I can’t think of anyone else with a winery there. In fact this is their first vintage (2003). Unlike a lot of Aussie red wines out there at the moment, it’s not about overripe fruit. Nor is it about alcohol content or ball tearing tannings (a la McLaren Vale Grenache blends and there’s NOTHING wrong with that!). It’s actually the balance of this wine that makes it so good.  The acidity is as close to perfect as i’ve found in any wine. The fruit doesn’t dominate and is just right, and it’s beautifully savory on the palette. Very mellow, not too complex and oh so drinkable. Hollick describe it as elegant, i’m inclined to agree. It’s what a drinkable Aussie red should be.

Don’t know about their passion fruit skins on the palette that Hollick describe though. A bit too high falutin for me . . .

Food wise, the Wrattonbully would work with anything from a pasta to a good old fashioned rosemary and thyme lamb roast. Or for that matter cheese, more wine and shit talking. That I can certainly vouch for.

This one can’t be missed if you’re a Coonawarra red lover. Look for the navy blue wrapping over the cork. I got this as a mixed dozen from the winery. In closing, a few people i’ve spoken to have had mixed emotions about Hollick. All I can say is that the quality is all there and everything i’ve tried is dead set impressive.

Links:

• Hollick Winery on Australian Wine Region Maps
• Hollick’s tasting notes for the Wrattonbully Shiraz

By talking about this, i’m probably ruining my chances of any other dumb wine luck. But by finding some dusty label-less bottles being in a shop being sold for charity, I came across the mid 60s St Herni shiraz going for a song. Of course the problem was, with a label, it’s pure speculation. Although everyone I spoke to (a Grange specialist on eBay, the Penfold’s customer support line and a posh wine store in town) unanimously agreed on the type and approximate vintage. Not a bad acquisition for a few measly bucks. The verdict was simply based on the markings on the bottle, and lack of a punt at the bottom. Apparently up until the 80s, they used really crappy glue on the labels. So it’s at least that old!

How did it taste? For a wine up to 40 years, just pure simple fruit. No tannins, no jaminess or kerosene like viscosity you sometimes get with over aged wines. Only pure, simple, divine and well balanced fruit. A very rare experience indeed.

How does this relate to the Grange? Well the store we were at had it on tasting at a highly reasonable $370 a bottle. Well highly reasonable for Grange considering most stores sell it for $450. A couple next to us pondered for a good 20 minutes and bought a case. Kind of sad when that $4500 could’ve bought literally 450 good reds at this particular sale. No doubt those 12 stunning Granges will impress their friends no end. Suckers.

Yes we tasted the Grange, and it was good. Well, it was a base model BMW good. Highly reliable, well put together and full of badge value, but hardly worth the money good. Drive the equivalent Toyota and you’ll wonder if the money was really worth it for that badge.

The lesson learnt is especially while there is still massive over abundance of good fruit, price doesn’t always mean you’re getting the best. Your pallette is the only thing that can tell you that. Failing that, if you learn a bit about wine, you can find bloody good bargains everywhere, even 40 year old ones!

So next time someone tries to impress you with their Grange collection, point and laugh and tell them you know someone that had a 40 year old St Henri for $1. And he couldn’t care less that it didn’t have a label on it! It’s for enjoying with friends, not to big note yourself to mates! And that’s why big dollar wines will never be worthy of their price tag. They’re just trying to turn wine into the next big dollar watch or Louis Vitton handbag.

N.B. Penfolds reckon the only difference between the St Henri and the Grange Hermitage back in day, was the former was barrelled in old oak, and the later in the new.

So far finding wineries within regions has been relatively arbitrary. People keep asking ‘why don’t you just download the Yellow Pages or something?’. If only it was that simple. So many wine regions (especially the Coonawarra region) require expert knowledge, because 200 metres is the gap between one cellar door and the next! A few locals have been up to the challenge and been a great help.

The phone book won’t tell you which is which. It seldom even gives you street number in the addresses. And if you check out some other sites that use Google Maps, the locations are really approximate (eg the middle of a national highway). We’re making a concerted effort to get locations as exact as possible.

Another hurdle is identifying wineries by satellite imagery. In an area such as Sunbury in Victoria, this is a no brainer. Rows of vines stick out pretty clearly in satellite mode, if only because you’re guaranteed only one winery per about 5-10 kilometres. Go to Murray Darling/Mildura and it’s the complete opposite. The Murray region is so fertile that it’s near impossible to identify a winery without local knowledge. Almost every square inch of land is fertile with orchids, vines who knows what else. So there’s a bit of an inbalance between regions.

So if you operate a winery, cellar door or vineyard in the Murray Darling region, or really know your way around, why not drum up some free publicity for yourself and add your site to the maps. You can put a link to your own site from the maps too. Other regions that we could use expertise are the Riverina (NSW), Sunbury (VIC), Denmark (WA) and Tasmania.