The movie really delivers with legendary stories, cliches, rockers and hangers on in the scene. It’s more a bar room yarn than a doco of say Nick Broomfield standard (who produced Kurt and Courtney and Biggie and Tupac). Nor does it geniunely consolidate Lemmy as a hero in the way the Ramones doco or Julian Temple’s movies have (Filth and the Fury and the Joe Strummer one).  All this could be forgiven though. It’s a celebration of Lemmy as a top bloke and a great musician. Nothing more, nothing less. On that premise, it’s OK and I’d see it again any time.

What cannot be forgiven though is the quality of the print that they screened in Melbourne. The aspect ratio was all wrong, so all the titles on screen got cut off! The quality of the video was like Youtube on the big screen. For $17.50 cinema prices, you expect a full quality print. Not something that looks like a dodgy download. It was a packed out screening and I don’t think we were the only ones disappointed at the quality. It felt like a really, really bad way of paying back fans for their patience when this movie could’ve gone straight to DVD a year ago.  Thanks for nothing MIFF!

Lemmy will screen again on August the 4th 2010. More details on the Lemmy Movie at MIFF.

Lemmy - all smellier than everything else.

Walk past any pharmacy or the cosmetic section of any department store and you will be inundated. As if we can’t get enough of Shitney Spears and Gwen Stefani in the general zeitgeist, we need to apparently smell like them. Everyone from Ewan McGregor to Kylie Minogue now has their own fragrance – yours for just a few hundred bucks. It seems celebrities themselves have become brands; bright, shiny objects for our mass appeal and consumption.

Frankly this whole thing is pathetic and I have an idea to turn it on its arse: Lemmy the fragrance. It will come in a hip flask made of old German World War Two surplus with a big German eagle on it. Forget high notes of Brazilian Sandalwood and patchouli, Lemmy the fragrance smells of denim, leather cowboy boots, Malboro Reds, Jack Daniels and Coke, sweat covered Marshall amps and fresh amphetamines. This is a fragrance, finally, that will melt knickers and scare small children.

For those who don’t like wearing Lemmy the fragrance, you can have it with Coke on ice. Or for the die hard, it will come in a snortable form. Either way, you’re never going to end up in some poncey hip hop bar wearing this stuff and it should help rid the shelves of the next Paris Hilton fragrance which probably would smell of chlamydia and wet patch.  Oh yeah and it would make Lemmy live on forever, which seems inevitable anyway.

What more could you ask for? Willy Nelson the fragrance? Well that would be the smell of smoking a spliff at your grandfather’s house which limits its potential. So Lemmy shall have to do.